A
female
age
30-35,
*helby1xox
writes:Hello,SO here is the thing. I have been with my boyfriend for just over 5 months. I turned 17 yesterday and have had a very hectic few months... to get you to understand i must tell you the whole background. In November 2010 I lost all my hair due to a medication overdose from the doctor (we think.) My boyfriend stuck with me through it but apparently some things were said. (that he was only with me for pity as nobody else would want me, and if anyone found out i was bald i would get dumped..) but also apparently this wasn't true. He also got back into contact with his ex. She is one of them stalking spiteful girls. When I found out they were texting and stuff I confronted him. I told him he can text who he liked it wasn't for me to decide. Thinking he would turn around and say no, he didn't want to. He didn't. He just text her. Obviously knowing what was going on was hard for me because i knew what she was like. One day we had this huge argument over Facebook. (me And the ex) It started with me nicely telling her to back off. (as i have never met her in person, Facebook was my only option.) Anyway, it got more aggressive as it went along, she started telling me things he had apparently said like "i was a nob" and things. She even told me he said he loved her! I was broke if i am honest. When i told him, he changed his tune about her and said he didn't want to talk to her and stuff. I dumped him as soon as i heard the hair comment. (which was quite recently) But as it was said to be untrue I took him back. He has been trying to change my mind ever since. Sending me love mail and trying to be "perfect". But its still always there. He even begged the ex to tell me it was a misunderstanding! Which in one way was amusing because she went from saying "get over yourself" to "your stunning no matter what" !! She isn't one to trust! .Because he cheated with her anyway, so if he did that to her, he could do that to me?! I decided to take things slow once we were back on but when we finally did sleep together, it didn't feel right :/ for some reason i don't know every kind of sexual thing is painful for me? Even if its just foreplay? I don't know if this is something to worry about. Most of the time i cant even carry on because its that bad :/ Any thoughts? Not only has my health gone down the drain ( because not only is my hair gone, i have more things wrong with me now then i knew possible!!) my weight has also changed. Start of November 2010, Before everything happened, i was border line nine stone. I weighed my self today, and i am 7.12.1 stone. I don't know why this has happened. I am also depressed quite a lot of the time, but as i am on so much medication I am not sure if i could go on anti depressants? :/ The thing that is my problem is whether to leave him and move on or not? All of my friends and even his are telling me to leave him! But he is my first love, and my first EVERYTHING so i don't want to lose him in a way? Also i fear no body will want me with a bald head anyway.. My friends say i am being silly but realistically being bald doesn't make you someones first choice does it?... I just don't know what to do!!!! Its killing me inside! And i know my case isn't as serious as most of everyone else's but it is still hurting me :( Thank you for taking time to read this and please get back to me soon! I need some REAL advise now :/- Shelby xx
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female
reader, nana431  +, writes (22 January 2011):
 If you dnt love yourself then u can't love him.if he can't respect your feelings then u shouldn't respect him enough to give him your body.your a women and you beautiful in and out respect yourself, love yourself, and enjoy life to the fullest single or not and remember ..what he won't do the next one will.
A
female
reader, Molly0102  +, writes (22 January 2011):
It sounds like your relationship is rocky and you lack trust. I feel that you should leave this guy. By being with him, you've encountered his nasty ex, rumors about him sticking by you only for sympathy. When 2 people are in love, it shouldn't be agonizing for either one of the parties. For one, he didn't assure you that none of those rumors were true. And if he really cared, he wouldn't have texted his ex while you were feeling miserable. Although he's your first everything, if e doesn't cherish this relationship then it wouldn't work out anyway. As for your baldness, I think it's more important if you have a group of supportive friends by your side instead of worrying nobody wanting you. Never underestimate the power of friendship. You're still young and your hair's bound to grow. if a guy really loves you, he also wouldn't have ared whether you're bald or not. Have faith in yourself and be rave enough to walk away from that guy.
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