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male
,
anonymous
writes: I have been with my girlfriend now for 1 and 1/2 years.I feel really close to her but lately the relationship has not been great. Phone calls are often long and boring, so we decided to stop phoning each other as often.The problem is when she does ring me now, little things she might say annoy me, whereas if it was a male friend saying it, I would take it as a joke.I get worried now when she text messages me, in case there is something in the content that will make me annoyed and then think about ending it.I just want it all to be great again!Is my relationship over? Am I just hanging on at the end?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2005): It's over.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2005): i find it cute that you are worried about this subject... but come to think about it this means you care about her and you dont want to end the relationship. i suggest you look back at all you and your girlfriend have been through and consider how both you and her will feel if the relationship is over. if she still annoys you then try geting away for a while... go to your cottage or on a small trip and dont talk to her a lot when you come back itll be better. good luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2005): If you're becoming dissatisfied with your gf and claiming boredom, you should look, not at her annoyances/faults, but at how she fits into your expectations and why you are becoming bored.
To figure out what you want, you need to consider all of your past relationships, and we should ask yourself what traits you have that is causing you, to lose interest in your relationships. Are your expectations too high? Do you believe every relationship you are in should have that unrealistic fairy tale ending such as the "happily ever after" scenario. The greatest problem is the disillusionment when one partner discovers that a current gf cannot fulfill his expectations or a fantasy that he has created, in his mind. This can lead you to feel dissatisfied with a relationship that most others would view as quite successful. If one can base their relationship on realistic rather than idealistic ideals, the couple have the potential for success. Once you understand your ideas and beliefs behind your feelings of boredom, accept those feelings as your own, don't blame the gf because she's simply not interesting, and do some work on yourself. You can ask yourself what you like and don't like about your current relationship, what hasn't been working, what has been working and how you would like to change it.
Relationships are hard to maintain. They require hard, hard work, time and efforts! They always have to be nourished with love, trust and best of all, fun positive attitude. Don't allow a bit of boredom to disillusion you.
Give this some more time and see where you two go from here. If after time and a good honest talk with each other, you may find you two, are indeed, not compatible and this is okay too. But let her know how you feel...give her a chance to think on this and get her input. You may surprised to know "she may feel the same way'. If you two are still feeling that it isn't going to work...agree together to let the relationship go so you both can move ahead and find more compatible partners for yourself. I wish you both the best of luck and take care.
Hugs
Irish
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A
female
reader, bubble-pop-electric +, writes (28 September 2005):
If you know that your realtionship is not working out for you, talk to her. See if she thinks the same thing.
You could possibly explain the situation to her and maybe take some 'time out' You might just be spending too much time together. Then, afterwards if you feel like you miss her then get back together, but if you don't maybe she's not the right one for you.
Good Luck!
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reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (28 September 2005):
 You have been together a while now and perhaps the sizzle has gone out of your relationship and niggling doubts are surfacing as to whether you should stay together.
I think what you need to ask yourself is what you really want. I mean, would you like to meet someone new? Would you like to not see so much of your girlfriend? Would you like to reignite the relationship because you love her?
Anything is possible if you want to do it; it just depends on what you really want.
Perhaps the most important question you need to ask yourself is whether or not you still love your girlfriend. If you do, you have something to work on. If you seriously think that you don't anymore, then it is time to break it off gently with her, realising that the relationship has run its natural course.
If you feel you do still love her, try doing different things together. Do spontaneous things together. Add some spice into your lives by recreating how you first met, going on a short holiday to somewhere you have never been together, tell each other things you have never told each other before.
Your girlfriend is possibly concerned that things have cooled between you so you need to decide honestly to yourself whether now is the time to reassure her and to look forward together or whether to end the relationship and move on.
Good luck with your decision.
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A
female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx  +, writes (28 September 2005):
 It sounds to me like you are just bored with the whole relationship and that's what being young is all about. (I know I don't know your age, I just get the impression you are young-ish!) If you are not happy with this, don't hang on to something that probably won't last anyway, get out there and meet new people. The spark has gone here and it is so hard to get that back once it's gone. By all means, carry on this way but you're not happy and I'm sure she's starting to see it too. Don't torture yourself or her any longer, move on. Even if you just have some time apart to see how things end up. Good luck :)
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