A
male
age
36-40,
*halor
writes:My ex just recently ended her relationship with a married co-worker. She is now calling me up and wanting me to hang out with her because she is lonely. One time when I left to go home she called me 5 minutes later and said she didn't want to be left alone. She said that she didn't want to give me the wrong idea about why she wanted me to come over.I want to get back with her because I still love her. Part of the reason our relationship failed is because she felt lonely, even when I was around, and lost any physical attraction to me. I admit I failed her on that part.I know that all of the advice for getting over a relationship and for even "winning back your ex" says you need to cut off communication with them. My problem is that we have a young son together and I either see or talk to her everyday.I feel like I need to not hang out with her so much but I don't want to hurt her. She suffers from depression and abandonment issues. Do I tell her no when she says she wants company? Do I ignore some of her calls? I don't call her to talk as friends, she calls me. Do I try to keep the conversations about our son and find an excuse to cut it off even if I don't have one? It is driving me crazy. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
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male
reader, Thalor +, writes (5 October 2008):
Thalor is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI want to make a clarification. I want to get back with my ex. After rereading the question it didn't seem so clear.
At 5am in the morning she texts me asking me to call her when I wake up. When I did so she told me she was lonely because she was by herself.
When I went over there to pick up our son we talked for a little bit. I forgave her for hurting me and I apologized for hurting her. She never intentionally hurt me. It was a symbolic way for me to let go of my negative feelings from the breakup. She said she appreciated it.
I suggested that she go out with a friend after she got out of work and unwind from all of her stress. She said her friends were either unavailable or wouldn't want to do it.
She said she misses having me around and that she was lonely. I told her it would bet better with time. I was still masking my true feelings about the situation although I am getting better day by day.
When the time came for me to leave with our son she was upset and on the verge of crying. She wanted a hug, I obliged her. We embraced for well over a minute. I tried consoling her telling her life would get better.
She called me on her break a few hours later. After going through the usual how was your day routine she further expressed her loneliness and talked about her difficulties making friends at work. She said she secludes herself and avoids talking to her coworkers. The whole time in the back of my mind I was thinking "Married Man, Married Man!"
So that is where the situation is currently. She said she is going to call me tonight. I want to know what other peoples take on the situation is. Does it seem like she is inching toward wanting to get back with me? or is she just using me for comfort?
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