A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am from the United States and my boyfriend is from South Africa. My boyfriend and I are planning on getting married in 2 to 3 1/2 years because at this point in time, we are financially unable to get married at this point. He says that in South Africa (he's from JoBurg), you only get engaged 6 months to a year before getting married... that they don't do it like they do here (in America). I just wanted to know if this was true or if this is something that's been "fed" to him to postpone getting engaged. I thank you for your time and would truly appreciate a reply.
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female
reader, Mistify  +, writes (11 January 2008):
 Hi there
There is absolutely no RULE that says how long one should be engaged before getting married. It is all just a personal choice.
HOWEVER, in Afrikaans culture, MOST people only get engaged when they are ready to start planning the wedding (and once again, that is all up to timing)
Usually, with booking of venue, and all the other things to organize, you need about 6 months to organize a wedding. (Although it can be done in a much shorter time, like my mother who organized her entire wedding in two weeks) Many SA men like to be engaged for at least a year, and this might also be due to personal preference, or just the way he was brought up.
I don't know. I don't think he's being negative about it. Maybe he just doesn't have the money to buy you the gorgeous engagement ring that he thinks you deserve, and would like to get engaged as soon as he knows you are financially stable enough to start planning the wedding as soon as you get engaged.
Don't stress it too much. If you are only planning to get married between 2 - 3.5 years from now, then you still have plenty of time to get engaged.
You can mail me if you wanna chat more.
Good luck
-M-
A
female
reader, sexi +, writes (11 January 2008):
 That isnt true. My sister got engaged in october 2007 and she is going to get married at the end of this year or early nest year.Ask your bf what is up with him.
Regards,mail me if you wanna talk
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2008): Hi - I'm from South Africa - you will only have a waiting period if you want to get married in a particular church and they have been fully booked!!! I have friends that have been engaged two weeks before getting married, and others who have been engaged for a couple of years before getting married. Sounds like your boyfriend is holding out on you!
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A
female
reader, Reebe  +, writes (10 January 2008):
 I dated a SA guy once and he never mentioned this, but SA guys do tend to be very respectful if their families.
Maybe he doesn't want to rush into anything, and thats fair enough, maybe he said it that way because he didn't want to hurt your feelings.
I am a bit concerned about whether you've actually met this guy? and if you have ever been to SA?
South African way of living is very different to that in the states.
Your still young no need to rush anything.
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