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female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes: Would it be weird if a 20 year old starts feeling the need to end most of her friendships? I feel like i wont achieve anything big with the friends that i have now. I would like to know if there is any of you who ever felt this way and how did you react? Thank you. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2016): Thank you all for the replies so far. I truely feel depressed and unhappy. When im with my friends nowadays im passive and most of my friends are judgemental i dont know what to do. Am i wrong to demand some space from these people? Again thanks.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (14 July 2016):
 I wonder what is the reason that you feel you need to end most of your friendships, are you feeling depressed? Unhappy? It is almost like you want to isolate yourself. Your friends should not be there to help you achieve anything big, or indeed to bring you down, but it might actually be yourself that is holding you back, and you are taking it out on those closest to you.
If you feel that the friendships are coming to an end well that is okay. No need to worry about it. People outgrow friendships all the time. I would just hate to think you will end up lonely and sad.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (14 July 2016):
 EDIT:
more likely YOUR are.
SHOULD have been:
more likely YOU are.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (14 July 2016):
"I feel like i wont achieve anything big with the friends that i have now."
I somehow doubt your friends are not the ones holding you back from achieving anything, more likely YOUR are.
However, some friends we outgrow, some outgrow us, others last a lifetime.
I think many people make new friends during their college/uni days and some last through the transition into the work-life some don't.
If you feel you have outgrown them, then maybe you have. I don't think (unless they only add negativity to your life) that you need to cut them out of your life, just mentally downgrade them and spend less time with them.
Go make more/new friends, but don't make "friends" who can DO things for you, rather make friends who ADD to your life and for whom YOU add to theirs.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (14 July 2016):
 I've ended friendships over the years... but most of the time we just tend to fade away... it's not a big huge fight or anything mostly we just find that as we grow and change the friends we have had no longer fit our needs.
I had one friend we were besties from age 13 through age 24.. then I had a child and we changed.
we were not friends or in touch for years... over 20 years.
now we are not best friends but we are close enough to get together and have lunch every few months.
there is no crime in outgrowing friends and moving on... and no need to say to them "i don't want to be friends with you any more" just continue to decline getting together and they will get the message
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (14 July 2016):
 It happens. However, how would they be holding you back? Isn't that on you to avoid? If you're not enjoying the friendships any more, then go ahead and cut them off, but you may be lonely if you feel unnecessarily held back by them :)
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