A
female
age
,
*indy Lou
writes:I have been in a rocky marriage for 24 years, broke up last year for 8 months and returned to him. But now he is texting a woman that he admitted have a sexual relationship with. I confronted him after finding the text messages and now he angry at me for checking his phone. No communication, whats to do nothing with me. He says he is depressed, feels empty. All of this started happening after our disabled son moved out of our home with his girlfriend. Don't know what to do. I love him very much, but i have trust issues that do not get resolved. He hides all mail and says to trust him that he is taking care of everything and basically none of my business. Please help!
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female
reader, chickpea2011 +, writes (25 September 2011):
 Hi,I just ended a 10 years relationship with my ex partner/best friend about a year ago. I found out about his affair 2 years ago, but he promised me that it was over. During the year after, my gut feeling wouldn't go away, just by his behavior I knew he was not being honest with me. Every time I would ask him, he would get mad, angry, defensive, treat me bad, denie, argue with me, etc. He was very convincing, and manipulative. About a mont ago I found out he was still in touch with this woman. It's over nothing to work out, nothing to say, I am out. What I am trying to say is that, trust your gut feeling, most of the time you are right. When you said, he got mad, angry, and defensive just prove to me that he's lying. Sorry to say this, but for personal experience, and by your husband behavior, most likely he's still in contact with this woman. I don't understand why men cheat, and lie? What's the point? Whos stopping them? Why make it so difficult? Why play games? Don't you agree? Of course, you live your husband, you both have a long history together, but don't you think it's easier to just end the relationship? I rather being heart broken, than felt betrayal? I will suggest you have a talk to your husband again. Important thing to remind you is that I've been there, so being calm, nice, it's what's going to help you get your answers. Do not pressure him, because this will only make him become more defensive, and he will just going to continue his lies. Make sure you are calm, that it's the right time, and he's in a good mood. This talk is important, because this will help you decide if you should stay in this marriage, and if you both can be happy together. I hope your husband will agree with this meeting, and hope that you both together can solve all your problems. I wish you peace, and happiness. Good luck
A
female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (22 September 2011):
 People who HIDE NOTHING, have nothing to hide.
If he has not changed regarding being trustworthy, then how much has really changed?
Whatever he did during the time he was NOT with you is the past, but if he is hiding stuff NOW while you are back together, then I would be questioning where his loyalties are.
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