A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:This is a question for married women I suppose. How can ur husband express his emotions, lead a full emotional life, w/o u losing attraction for him?I live a life like many husbands. My wife has many girlfriends, at work, in the neighborhood, from her past. Most of her activities with the kids involve going as a group with other moms. They talk incessantly about their feelings; their feelings about raising kids, work, and the most intimate details of their relationships with their husbands. I know this cause I hear about some of the "jucier" tidbits from my wife ( I.e one wife is considering cheating cause there is a young stud that is comming on to her Aand the sex with her husband is utterly unsatisfying cause he lasts 2 minutes). There are many other details discussed by the women: one-sided accounts of very intimate fights, the secret that X had a former marriage (something his kids don't even know); it once became clear that my wife had told all the girls in the group exactly how many inches I am. Mostly troubling tho is the discussion of intimate fights between husband and wife, where not only does the wife always get support and affirmation of her position, the husbands private thoughts r conveyed to manymeanwhe, husbands have no outlet. Men simy don't talk about emotional stuff with each other. If the man talks to his wife about emotional stuff there r two results: all the wife's girlfriends (and some of their husbands) will soon know; and (2) his display of emotions makes him very unattractive, weak, not the strong silent type, petty like a girl, etc. This is extremely isolating, from ur wife, ur mutual friends, etcso my question is, is there a way to have and express emotions w/o de facto communicating them to every one of your wife's friends? And (2)can a married man have emotions w/o appearing weK, petty, "girl-like" and utterly unattractive?
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male
reader, RealityChecker +, writes (30 June 2010):
i would dump her sorry ass as soon as I had a chance. to discuss your private issues with her friends is not even remotely mature or deserving of a good, communicative man.
She is obviously still mentally in her teens. I know, I am married to a 38 year old teenager who has shown more interest in the Eclipse series of novels than she has me in over a year. I wish I could find someone like happy24birthday who at least shows an interest in the real parts of a relationship. For someone like that who allows growth between each other in the marriage to that degree would be a god send. Instead we are initially lured into believing their capacity to love on your level is equal, so we marry them, and then find out we were wrong. Men DO talk about these issues, its just we all have ended up in the same boat, with nothing apparently available to fix the situation. I am beginning to question where did all of these empty shells of people come from.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2010): I thought that's what my husband did on his beer night with his guy friends.The emotional letting down of the male being.tears with fosters.cheers.
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A
female
reader, happy24birthday +, writes (29 June 2010):
 Being honest and open with your wife is the only way to express your emotions to her. It's actually incredibly wonderful when my man shows his emotions and talks about things instead of me having to figure out what's going on with him. A man having sincere emotions is highly attractive and does not at all make him appear girl-like or weak. When you do talk to your wife about things and open up to her, ask her to keep it a secret. Her promise not to reveal what you reveal to her will create a stronger bond between you two.
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