A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi alllast week i took two home pregnancy tests because my period was 2 weeks late , i took one in the afternoon which came up postive really quickly, then i took another one the next morning just to be sure and that also came up positive right away, so now i take it im pregnant. i have a midwife appointment next week, its my first appointment to find out how many weeks i am and fill out forms and stuff. Thing is my boyfriend wants to come with me but i dont want him to come to this one, i just wanted my older sister there, i dont know how to explain this to him, its only this one i dont want him to come because they check how much i weigh and stuff and i dont want him to see how much i weigh, im a size 10-12, but since falling pregnant i have put a bit of weight on. thats why i dont really want him there and i feel more at ease with my sister there. i just dont know how to tell him without sounding harsh..i dont mean anything by it. any advice?
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2010): oh my god, I was like that soooo bad with both pregnancies. I took him to every appointment that he could get off of work for, and insisted that he leave the room when I was weighed. He made fun of me for being so sensitive, but it wasn't a big deal. he still got to hear the heartbeat and see the ultrasounds, etc. I couldn't bear the thought of making him miss out on those moments because I was so self conscious!
I was a 6 to 8 before pregnancy, now Im an 8 to 10, so i never really had a reason to be so obsessive (just like you), but oh well. He respected my quirks and so will your boyfriend. Let him come because you might get to hear the heartbeat! Plus obstetritians are sensitive to this and they will make sure that you get to choose if he stands there or not.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2010): Honey, you're pregnant. Of course you are going to gain some weight. Your boyfriend has obviously seen you naked before so the number attached to your appearance should be no big deal if he likes the way you look!
He's being supportive and wants to go with you... you are a lucky girl! Encourage him and don't be put off :)
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A
female
reader, Not My Name  +, writes (12 April 2010):
 I take it if he has managed to father a child with you that he has gotten a pretty god look at your body, so what is a number assigned to it gunna change? It is not like he is going to suddenly turn off you to know what the body he already likes actually weighs.
You're a size 10-12 so that number is not going to be anything drastic to be embarrassed about. Relax!
Consider yourself lucky that he wants to come to the appointments with you. My ex only came to the 8 and 12 week ultrasounds, and nothing again until the birth.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2010): I'm with Caring Guy and Fatherly Advice on this one.
He wants to be there for you - let him be. You are SO lucky that he wants to be there for you - many guys wouldn't be there for you and might even do a runner. You are super lucky.
Try and balance being glad that he's there for you & letting him in on this amazing event with feeling a bit self-conscious.
Maybe get him to wait in the doctors office or the waiting room or something while they do the measurements and all.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice  +, writes (12 April 2010):
 You are worried about your weight, He is worried about the future of your relationship. I would say that the fact that he is willing to support you through all of this is a very good indicator of his worth to you. I'd invite him along. Just let him know that he will have to stay in the waiting room until you are ready for him to join you with the midwife for the results. The reason I say this is Because it is important for him to start building the bonds between him and the baby. Now is probably not the right time for you to get body shy.
FA
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (12 April 2010):
The issue is that if you don't involve him with this process, he will find it A LOT harder to adapt as he watches you grow with your baby, and it may also cause him a few problems adapting to being a father. At this stage, he really won't care how much you weigh. He will only be interested in how you are coping and what he can do.
If you really don't want him there, then tell him that for this first one, you'd prefer your sister because she's a female and you'd just like to get used to what is going to happen because it's girl stuff. But remember what I said. Involve him now, and the whole process will be easier. What you don't want later down the line is to need his help and for him to not be interested or not understand. He will not care about your weight. He will care if he thinks you're pushing him away.
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A
female
reader, BettyBoup +, writes (12 April 2010):
 Try telling him the truth. He might be more understanding than you think. Guys know how much pressure women are under to be a certain weight and size. I'm sure he'll understand why you don't want him to know. He would probably even not care if he did know your weight. If you're a 10-12, that is a perfectly healthy normal size and although you may have put on, you likely won't be much overweight. Your weight is probably the last worry on your boyfriends mind.
Good luck :)
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