A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:my question how do i eliminate such erotic thoughts of an instructor. the situation is i have an odd relationship with my instructor. she basically saw me grow up. i had the hots for her which is normal but got confused when she began subtly flirting with me. she spoke in innuendos and even grew more direct. i tried to cease such lustful thoughts by spending more time with her to eliminate any fantasy but it just ignited the flame. so i feel guilty thinking in such a pervy way but she doesn`t help the situation. any advice
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female
reader, Lola1  +, writes (7 October 2009):
 Having a crush on one's instructor or teacher is normal as you seem to know. It is inappropriate that she is flirting or giving innuendos.
Spending more time with her has sent her the message that her advances are welcome and would only serve to ignite flames for both her and you. That is the equivalent of saying you want to stop being tempted by chocolate, so you have spent more time being surrounded by it.
Obviously, if you can not speak to her about behaving in a manner more appropriate to your roles (student and teacher), then spending LESS time with her and getting more acquainted with equals to you of a similar age group would be helpful, as would getting a new instructor.
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