A
female
age
30-35,
*usicIsMyAngel
writes:I am 17 years old and I'm terrified about the thoughts that have been entering my mind lately. When I was 6, my parents got a divorce. My dad dated off and on, then finally got 'serious' with a woman when I was 13. She was a complete psycho; sadly, my dad didn't figure that out until after he impregnated her. She was verbally abusive and called me fat all the time. I weighed 107. She constantly compared me to her; she was 5'7" and 100 lbs. She was always making me feel how flat her stomach was, trying to make me feel worse about myself. Her actions still haunt me to this day. I look in the mirror and see a fat girl even though I am 5'5" and 125 lbs. I know this is not fat by any stretch of the imagination but every time I look in the mirror I find a flaw and it's got me thinking about bulemia and anorexia lately. It also doesn't help that I aspire to be on Broadway one day and I see all sorts of "beautiful" famous people that are so tiny. I don't think I'd ever succumb to these thoughts but it still scares the living crap out of me (pardon the crude terminology). What should I do? I can't help but feel like I should lose at least 10 lbs.
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female
reader, Cheeks +, writes (1 August 2010):
 You know your not fat- you aware it's in your head. Don't let the comments from an isecure woman from your past cause destructive behaviors in you today. If you want to lose a few pounds thats cool, but lose them naturally through excercise. Don't ever starve yourself. Don't ever throw up. Don't ever take laxatives. Don't ever compare your self to skinny (starving) b*tches on TV. And consider this before you act- That if you do lose weight yet your body image hasn't improved in your mind, trying to lose more isn't the answer because being "fat" was never the problem. I would suggest that you talk to a counselor or therapist if you can afford one. Maybe join a support group if you live in an area with any to offer. And if you don't have access to these things there are always people over the internet who are willing to help you with this secific issue. I'm way underweight myself. I have been for years. Being to busy to eat properly, STRESS, being flat broke, STRESS, bad habits, STRESS along with other factors eventually became what is now a constant struggle with getting enough to eat, finding it in me eat when I'm disgusted by food. It's horrible. I can't stress this enough to you- that forming unhealthy habits happens easily enough on accident - i can only imagine how quickly they can take root in someone who's doing it on purpose. It's a real danger to your well being, mental state, overall health. And it's hard to return to normal. I know because I have yet to in these last 7 years since I basicly lost my appitite. I'm ashamed some days of my boney shoulders & my knobby kness. Just think about it before you do anything to extreme. Good luck. Oh, and I'm sure you're perfect just the way you are! (maybe that's why your old step mom was always putting you down- she had a flat stomach- but did she have a flat ass too?) you're beautiful I promise.
A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (1 August 2010):
 I'm not suprised her actions still haunt you it's one of the cruelest things you can say to a child. She obviously had her own battles with weight too.
Try to remember that famous people look perfect because they have teams of people round them to prepare them for photos and movies. They get airbrushed and photoshopped to get that perfect picture and then the rest of us continually aspire to look like something fake because of it.
Do you have a favourite teacher you could talk to about this or a friends mother? I think the more you talk to someone who can tell you that you are perfect the way you are the better you will feel about yourself.
All the Aunts and Uncles here know you are beautiful and we all know your step mother is a nutter who has taken advantage of her position of power in a very cruel way. Push her out of your head you are perfect!
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A
female
reader, SirenaBlusera  +, writes (1 August 2010):
 Hi Angel (nice name btw),
You don't sound even CLOSE to fat!! I don't think you need to lose weight but I think you're just insecure.
There's nothing wrong with you!! You've just encountered some horrible people... just remember, you're more important than they are and they don't matter.
Anorexia is very dangerous and if you aspire to a showbiz career it can be a huge detriment. Just exercise, eat healthy- fruits, vegetables, chicken- and drink water instead of soda.
Your dad's ex-wife sounds like a complete psycho... women are inherently jealous of each other and some women become very evil as a result of jealousy. It sounds like that may have been the case.
The Red Cross won't even let you give blood unless you weight a minimum of (I think) 105 or 110, I can't remember how much.
I think you sound like a sensitive person and you are deeply hurt and scarred by your stepmom's cruelty... have you discussed this with your parents? Where is your mum? I want to help but after a trauma like this you need to talk to a therapist or counselor, though you can always come to us, you do need a counselor... keep eating healthy and having healthy thoughts.
If this horrible woman is still in your life and still abusing you... and your dad does nothing... I would go to the authorities about this. It's just as harmful as if she were physically hitting you and no child deserves that.
Did your dad ever leave b*tch? I sure hope so. I feel sorry for the kid they had together. :(
I hope this helps...
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A
female
reader, LyricStorm +, writes (1 August 2010):
 Listen to your heart... You know you are truly beautiful i can tell that and i dont even know what you look like. I dont know your beliefs or anything but let me tell you the emeny is a lie... You stay strong in prayer PRAYER WORKS i use to have bad suicidal thoughts and have unsuccessfully tried them.. One day i got on my knees and just cried and praied that the lord would just help me to heal bring som sort of peace let me know i am worth living and he did... That was over 2 years ago and i am still here. I wont say they dont come up butwhenthey do i know i have a god to pray to to remove them thoughts.
Pray.. PRAY that the lord will show you how beautiful you truly are pray he will open your eyes to see the beauty that the world already sees... And when he does praise him thank him dont be afriad to go to god reguardless of what you think you have done go to him humble yourself down so he can help you.. Doctors and therapist will only tell you to take this med or that med THEY TOLD ME!!! but let me tell you MY GOD LIVETH AND HE WILL SHOW U WANT U NEED TO SEE
Hope that helps:)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2010): First, let your Dad know how badly that woman has treated you! He probably will be very angry and I don't blame him. What she did to you is horrible. Tell yourself you are beautiful. I have gone thrue an eating dissorders, and I got over it by learning to love myself again. It takes time, but is worth it in the long run. Also, try to think positively. That really helps! Going threw anorexia is not as attractive as it sounds. You are cranky and depressed all the time. I cried almost everyday when I went through it. It also distorts the way you look at food, and eventually, you will start having massive binges. When that happens, you really want to make yourself throw up. Eating dissorders should never seem attractive, no matter what. I will never forget my experience with anorexia. Because of it, I lost many things that I loved about myself, including
my confidence. Don't do it to yourself.
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