A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I like a genuinely lovely guy ( before you ask, I know him well ) who is a bit shy and awkward about his feelings. According to his best friend, he knows that I like him, and his sister (one of my best friends) thinks he likes me. But because he is so shy and closed off about his feelings, I have no way of knowing yes or no. (And because I'm a pathetic little coward, I want to find out instead of asking him out, being rejected and ruining our friendship.)I have picked up on some signals that he likes me.I was at his house the other day and he pulled up a chair to sit on. I saw a pic of his little brother and I turned around to ask how old he was. Our faces must have been less than a foot apart. He stumbled, and couldn't remember how old his brother was. I did the "look-down-at-his-lips-to-get-the-message-across" and he blushed slightly and looked away, and told me his brother was 8. He seems more forgetful around me, it has happened more than once. I've noticed on more than one occasion that he looks for me when he enters a room. Discreetly, obviously, but when he sees me, he always stops looking. If he is sat opposite me, I will often see out of the corner of my eye that he is looking at me. He doesn't tend to look away when our eyes meet, I just try to smile or he looks past me and pretends it wasn't me he was looking at. I know he isn't looking for a girlfriend, and he isn't one to say if he knows you like him but I know he does. It bothers me a bit that he hasn't said anything about me liking him, but it's not in his nature to say anything. Is there anything I can do to find out how he really feels?
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male
reader, daletom  +, writes (13 March 2013):
Well, I'm probably one of those "quiet and shy" guys. I was a bit older than you - almost 22 - and hadn't dated except for a couple months back in High School. A much older (my parents' age) friend suggested that I should meet her niece. She didn't say that she saw compatibility traits between us, or that her niece also fit into the "quiet and shy" category. There was a distance problem, so we started out writing to each other - real letters on real paper, or occasionally a friendship card or some trinket gift.
In retrospect that was a great way for two quiet-and-shy people to get very acquainted at a personal level. After 3 moths of writing we met face-to-face. One year plus two weeks after we first saw each other we married, and still are - over 38 years later.
A
female
reader, Dionee'  +, writes (13 March 2013):
 Somebody has to make the first move. If nobody does then you both will never know. Im your age and i say that although this may seem cute, its just dumb cause you guys are going nowhere slowly. Either you make the first move OR try to forget about this whole thing (which is quite obvious you won't be able to do). Either that or you just live with never knowing what could've happened or could've been . . .
THINK ABOUT IT:
Maybe he is even waiting for some go ahead sign from you
Maybe he isn't confident enough
Maybe you need to make the first move
All these maybe's are things you need to consider. I suggest you try them. Goodluck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2013): You guys are too old to play hide and seek. He's too shy and you're too shy. So whose going to make the first move?
If he isn't looking for a girlfriend, then be a friend. Ever consider that he may be gay and not know it? Do you really want a boyfriend who is so crippled by shyness? It won't be easy making other friends if he's always so "closed off."
You're just a couple of teenagers, so you'll be playing this cat and mouse game until someone gets the nerve to say " I like you, do you wanna hangout sometime?" You already know that he likes you; so make yourself available and easy to talk to.
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