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female
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anonymous
writes: My boyfriend of three years and i were making love after a few drinks recently when he shouted "Betty, i love you! Well my name is not Betty!Immediately this happened I pulled away. Betty is his ex girlfriend whom i know he is still very fond of and sees from time to time on a platonic basis as she works near his office.I was really upset by this. We've been talking of getting engaged but now i'm not so sure as i don't want to be a second best. I love him of course, but now when we make love i feel he has betty on his mind. He has apologised, saying he didn't know why he shouted betty's name. Do you think he's in love with me?
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female
reader, b3x  +, writes (26 August 2006):
 This happened to me too!
I just got with my new fella, things got a lil 'fruity' and he mentioned Vicky which was his ex! I was like wo wo wo, what did you just say?!
At frist I got all hot headed and really wound up about the fact he called me his ex, I knew he honestly didn't mean to so it didn't bother that much.
I do think he is in love with you, these things happen, its harsh I know I went through it myself, all sorts of questions are racing through your head right now, you questioning your relationship with the guy you love just because he called you his ex's name. Is it really worth jepordising this?
Talk to him about though, ask him does he still have any feelings for her, does he still think or her, maybe he just saw her that day and thought of it?
One thing though, you said we made love after a 'few drinks' Maybe the booze just got to him, talk to him though don't let this blow over as I can tell you really like him and personally I wouldn't worry about it.
My confession is, I called my boyfriend my ex's name once too, so I guess as harsh as it may be, it just happens xx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2006): dump him. dont waste your time sweety. really.
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A
female
reader, Wendyg +, writes (26 August 2006):
 This is quite common to happen if your relationship is new and he hasnt long broken up with his ex... but to have been together 3 years and he suddenly uses her name in your most intimate moment then i would be somewhat concerned! It could be that at that time you engaged in something that he would have normally enagaged with her and he has likened the experience and got a little carried,stab in the dark! not saying hes comparing, but the mind can play tricks.. whilst un nerving he may not have reliased himself the impact, and may really just have got caught up, as the mind can do strange things. you say he is still seeing her on a platonic basis, maybe she was just on his mind althought that is not good in an intimate moment and i can understand the hurt! But there could be something deep rooted that hes not telling you... have a chat and ask him why he thinks he did it... it doesnt mean he doesnt love you, just means that he has got someone else on his mind for whatever reason, and it could signal that deep down he his heart hasnt yet gotten over her, or it could have just been that he had recently seen her, and whilst in the throws of passion completely forget.. yeah i know dumbass, but it doesnt mean his feelings are not right for you, just he has something unsettled on his mind... ask him if he can explain it, maybe hes been helping her out on an emotional issue and somehow his mind got a little clogged up at the time, im not saying its right he should have done it, but it may not mean a thing.... do find out though if he sees her as more than a friend and how he wants you two to progress in a relationship. Check hes not having an affair, but do talk to him, he might not be able to explain it and it like i say may not mean anything, whilst that isnt reassuring for you, he may wonder to himself why the hell he did say it!! The mind is very deep and sometimes we have no control over what we are thinking!
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A
male
reader, Wild Thaing  +, writes (26 August 2006):
 "...[He] sees [Betty] from time to time on a platonic basis..."
There may be nothing happening between the two but there may be unresolved feelings within your man. He is not over her because you have noticed how he is still fond of her.
Is he in love with you? Well only your man knows this for sure. If you need to be secure in the knowledge that the man you eventually marry is yours fully and completely, then this is another matter that is separate from the question of whether or not he loves you.
If he screams out another woman's name when he's at the height of a sexual experience, and you know he is still fond of that same woman, how does that enhance YOUR sense of security? This is the question that your inner voice will answer instantly. Listen to it and let it guide your actions. The relationship is at a standstill until you act.
You have to square the security you desire with the facts about your current relationship. I hope this helps.
Good luck and take care.
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A
female
reader, layla +, writes (25 August 2006):
 i think that you should talk to him and ask why he said this and tell him that this is serious. you know him more than anyone else to know if hes capable of having an affair. good luck and take care. xx
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A
female
reader, bonym +, writes (25 August 2006):
 You need to talk to him and demand that he be COMPLETELY straight with you about how he feels about this Betty woman. I dont really think he has an excuse for what he has done, and you deserve to know where you stand with him. Good luck. xXx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2006): that's a really tough situation. have you heard of the term 'freudian slip' before? i'm assuming you have. but it's when you accidentally say outloud what you're subconsciously thinking. so maybe he could have been thinking about her and it accidentally came out. or it could have been completely innocent and on accident. it's just all about whether you believe people say these types of things with a deeper meaning behind them or not. as for your situation, i would say that i would go by how he's acting towards you. if he's been distant and emotionally void, i would start to wonder what's going on in his head for his ex. but if he seems emotionally all about you, i'd just say move on and let it pass for a mistake. good luck.
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A
female
reader, Chelsea +, writes (25 August 2006):
 If you've both talked of getting engaged, chances are he's in love with you, but you say he is stillfond of his ex. The fact that he called out her name during your love making could mean a few things:
1. obviously he was fantasising about her
2. for him to say 'I love you, Betty' could very well suggest that he is still in love with her
3. They're having an affair.
Talk to him, find out what's going on. Hopefully you'll know what to do then.
Good luck x
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