A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I posted a question on here earlier about trying to get my ex back. We go to the same professional school in a class of less than 150 and I will be here for another two and a half years.To sum up the relationship: We started with something physical and it morphed into something romantic. It was high intensity, high "emotion", and we barely spent a day apart (a completely unhealthy way to develop a relationship but hindsight is 20/20, right?). It seemed great: he wanted me to meet his family, come visit me over the summer, said I would be a great wife. Then weird stuff started happening. He was late to hang out a few times, lost his mind with jealousy when any of my male friends talked to me, read papers when we were at the dining hall instead of talking to me, put in his headphones when we were walking back from the library alone together. Then he scheduled three hang outs in a weekend and didn't show up to any with no explanation. I confronted him and after a fight, he apologized, then did the same thing a few days later. Holiday break ensued, cue multiple promised phone calls and, predictably, no follow through.I came back to school, we had the relationship "talk," he said he couldn't handle a relationship right now, needed "me time", but he wanted to keep the prospect of us dating later this semester or next year open. He said if he couldn't date me, the perfect girl, then he couldn't date anyone. Promised he wouldn't hook up with anyone else this semester.Two nights ago, he took home one of my friends from a bar in front of me (three days after telling me no hook ups this semester). I was explaining this to a friend majoring in psych in more detail and she thinks that he's a sociopath. He fits all ten signs on this link: http://www.naturalnews.com/036112_sociopaths_cults_influence.html . Charming, more intense than most people, dominates others, incapable of feeling remorse/guilt, highly intelligent, doesn't apologize, angry when confronted about errors. He has a sense of humor that seemed harmless at first but really he just tries to make fun of other people and be the center of attention.I would just try to avoid him but unfortunately we'll be together in school for another two and a half years and we share the same friend circle (about 30 people). My question: Does anyone have any experience with getting over a sociopath that you have to see all the time? How do I cope with the fact that I might know the "real him" but no one else has seen it? I would get out of this friend group to avoid him but I have genuine friends in it and I don't feel as though I should have to leave them because of him. I'm not pining for him but it hurts to be around him.I obviously can't diagnose him and I'm seeing things through my own skewed perspective but even if he's not officially one, it's clear that I still need to find a way to coexist with him. Please help. I feel so trapped.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (21 January 2013):
 I suggest that you spend very little (more) time trying to (psycho-) analyze and categorize this guy... and 'way more time socializing with those in your circle who you like... whilest avoiding him (this guy).....
You have only so-much mental energy available.... and, after your studies, you have less, still. Use it to YOUR benefit... nobody else's....
Good luck...
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