A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I'm 16. Recently I started a relationship with this guy, but I made a mistake that hurt him and me.Eventually we worked things out and got back together. Before my mistake I was feeling like I wanted to break up with him- things just didn't feel RIGHT if that makes sense. However when I lost him it made me realise what I'd lost and made every effort to win him back. The past few weeks have been great, but suddenly the feeling is back and I don't know what to do. I don't want to hurt him twice and it's not that big of a deal to stay with him- we're only 16 but I just don't want this relationship anymore.I wouldn't know how or when to break up with him or even if I should. Can anyone help me? Feel free to ask questionsThanks
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2013): If you aren't feeling right in the relationship then obviously something isn't right.
Don't stay with him just because "being with him isn't a big deal", as you both deserve more than that. At the same time, you need to be sure this is definitely what you want to do before you end it, because it would be unfair to ask for him back a third time just to go through this again.
You can't break up with someone without hurting them, as the previous person said, you just have to be kind and considerate but honest and clear about what you want.
I'm going to go out there and say that actually I think breaking up on the phone is one of the better ways to go. It isn't so personal as face to face, so if he cries he can do so privately, if he doesn't want to talk to you he can put the phone down, and if he has questions there is opportunity to ask them? Breaking up in person is so.hard.
You're both young and you will both recover. Don't ever stay in something just because it is too hard to leave. Best of luck! x
A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (20 January 2013):
You can't break up with him without hurting him so don't let that stop you. Just try to be compassionate and sensitive to his feelings. If he has questions answer them honestly (unless it would needlessly hurt him) and be patient with him. Don't go "making mistakes" right after breaking up with him.
But, don't let him guilt trip you into staying together either;be firm but gentle.
Being a "good breaker upper" is a very important trait in a good hearted person. You need to recognize the pain a bad break up can cause someone.
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