A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello all,Firstly, I'm a 22 year old guy currently studying at University. Recently, over the past 2 months of so, I started chatting to and hanging out with a girl I'll call Rita on my course. We'd just do stuff like get coffee and talk, which would usually go on for hours as we get on like a house on fire. Anyway, she told me before we started hanging out regularly that she had a boyfriend, but wasn't really very happy and they were on a break. My thoughts on that are, break or not, she's still got a boyfriend so I'm not going to make a move, I was happy just hanging out. However, I do like her as more than a friend, I was just careful to not overstep the mark. So on the last day of term she asked me if I wanted to go out drinking with her and a few mates, which I did. Her boyfriend was there, so I thought no harm in that. I ended up getting hideously, blackout drunk and going home with one of her housemates, who I'll call Sophie. So me and Sophie had a one night stand, except now she wants to see me again, and has said she wants to have sex. I'm not morally comfortable with sleeping with Sophie, when I know it's not going anywhere because I actually like Rita, even though I'm not going to make a move on her because of her boyfriend. So my question is this: what do I say to Sophie? My thoughts are to level with her and just say "I'm sorry but I don't really want this to go any further because I actually like Rita. It's not about getting with her due to the boyfriend, but it's not really fair to string you along when I like someone else." Good idea?
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a break, drunk, move on, one night stand, university Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (26 March 2013):
 Don't mention Rita. Just tell Sophie that you aren't interested in a relation sip or casual sex with her. If you DO mention Rita you KNOW it will get back to her and things might becomes super awkward.
Also, slow down n the drinking.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (26 March 2013):
 Be honest with Sophie but no need to mention Rita.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2013): That was the reason a friend of mine quit drinking all together. Not only he couldn't hold his liquor , he also ended up sleeping with strange women. He is very good looking, the only problem he is married wit a child, and this drinking thing almost broke up his marriage.
Agree with other, don't make the situation even worse by telling her that other girl is more to your likening. And overall stop haing drunken sex.
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A
female
reader, cute angel  +, writes (26 March 2013):
 Hi OP,Quite a mess eh!well make things clear with sophie but don't mention rita..because turning her down for another girl would really hurt her self esteem!When things happen with rita it will,you don't need to announce it to the world!And when you talk to sophie to clear things out do tell her that you had fun but your not looking for anything more as for now,be polite still get the word out!And a piece of advice for next time,if you like a friend never hit on the girl's friend,bad idea,it will backfiree..Good luck OP
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A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (26 March 2013):
 Hi
Be honest with Sophie yes,its only fair but don't mention you like Rita.
Sophie has probably told her what happened if they are friends and that she wants to see you again.
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A
female
reader, willow_willow  +, writes (26 March 2013):
WOWOWOWOWOW..Leave Rita out of the explanation, trust me. First thing is first, make sure you tell sophie how much fun you have had with her and although she is sexy as hell you really had your heart set on someone else. Let her figure out about Rita when it happens that you 2 get together (hopefull you will!!).
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A
female
reader, R1 +, writes (26 March 2013):
 Good idea to say you aren't interested but don't mention Rita. She has clearly said she has a boyfriend and there is no sign they will break up. Maybe you should stop bring friends with Rita if you have feelings for her.
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