A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I need to know, how can you tell if someone close to you is using recreational drugs? What are the signs?Also my husband has a gambling adiction but wont get profesional help, what can I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys, I looked up some stuff about drugs and Im still not certain but thanks love-him.
I also found some uk gambling help sites, thanks for the idea fade.
Frank, thankyou. All my finances are spearate from his so he cannot touch my money, I learnt from my ex the hard way not to let your spouse have access to your finances lol.
I guess I have some hard choices to make.
Thankyou everyone for your input, it helps to know you guys are all out there giving so much support.
Take care all of you.
Love and hugs xxx
A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (22 November 2007):
 The BEST thing you can do for your husband with the gambling addiction is to keep your accounts and money SEPARATE from him. Make sure he has no access, as he will destory your credit.
This is not something he can promise not to do. It is an addiction, and an addiction changes people, making them unable to be rational. He is NOT in control.
Keep him for ruining you financially, and leave him if he refuses treatment.
-Frank B Kermit
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A
female
reader, love-him +, writes (22 November 2007):
 Hi babe, there are different signs and symptoms to different drugs, search it in google to find out :) about the gambling, he needs to realise this himself, as he more than likely wont listen to anyone else, I hope i helped, Feel free to mail me about anything :) x
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou Mandy, I guess the only way I will really know if she is taking drugs is to catch her at it.
As far as my husband is concerned, I really dnt want my marrage to be over, I love him dearly and so do the children. He had the gambling addiction before, but it didnt matter so much because he didnt have wife and family then. I dont know how he stopped before and he wont tell me, or he maybe doesnt know himself.
I have told his mother he has gone back to gambling, he has been at it bout 2 years now and always expects me to pick up the pieces, he will spend hours at the machines, then lie about it.
I feel the same as if he was having an affair, and I guess in a way he is, but its an addiction and there has to be someway to stop or at least get him to see it. How do people get alcoholics to admit they are alcoholocs?
Im sorry, Im just so desperate to end all of this now and I really do not know how xxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2007): Hi Hunny,
I can only go on the expierences with my eldest son hunny with the drugs it was difficult to tell what was going on at first as his whole attitude to life in general changed, He was very young so you dont actually as a mother see that coming, But lucky for me im pretty clued up and it took me not long before I realised he was taking something. He changed from a loving young man into a confussed rude inconsiderate and violent some times.. It took 6yrs him dying on me twice and me telling him that I loved him but he was responsible for his own life for it to finally end and the drug in this case was aerosols, acid, and pills but the aerosols are the worst love a lot of people dont realise that they can kill the first time taken or the 1000 time taken just horrible, The gambling my first husband was always gambling and to be quite honest the mariage was over and I just couldnt be bothered to try anymore as it just was to much with children to take care of.. I hope this helps love take care love mandy xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your reply, He refuses to discuss it, refuses to see he has a problem and refuses to get help! Im at my wits end and the debts keep mounting up!
The Gambling is really affecting everything in a big way, and he just WONT talk! Wsih I could get hold of some truth serum sometimes, so he has to see it.
As to the drugs thing, the mood swings it, but I ws hoping for something a littlemore... obvious I guess. her mood swings are what had aroused my suspicions, along with the unexplained disapearences for hours with feeble excuses. Maybe she has a gambling problem too lol.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2007): Firstly the bit about the drugs. All people behave differently. My ex used to take wacky, his moods swings were terrible. He used to laugh at nothing then he would become paranoid. He couldnt sleep on a night then he would sleep for hours. But i am not sure about other drugs.
Gambling addictions can be as part as drink. The money just disappears and they cannot wait to get their next fix in the way of gambling. Just have a chat with him and try to find out why he is like this. Is life so bad that he has to turn to things like this. Does he not value what you two have that he has to waste his money and health in such a way.
If you can talk to him then ask him if he will get help and say you will go along with him. Until he admits he has a problem then he wont see it as a problem just a way of life. But he does need professional help.
take care
xx
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