A
female
age
36-40,
*onfused.xxx
writes:ok so,iv been with my boyfriend now for over 2 yrs.i love him so much and i know he loves me ha tells me every day but the thing is,that when he gets a few drinks into him i never know what he's goin to do next.the way he treats me is so mean and hurtful,telling me to shut my mouth in front of people if i say a wrong word.he can just be so ignorant u would not believe!so once we'v had the fight he will drink for about 3 days with all his friends from morning til night.And while he is out getting drunk and having the crack im left feeling like *crap* until he eventually wants to talk and say sorry because he feels so guilty about what he done.this usually happens every 3 or so months and each time promises it will never happen again.its just so heartbreaking because he just changes from bein the love of my life into this monster.i know i cant keep letting him treat me like this but its just so hard to let go,what do i do?
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female
reader, confused.xxx +, writes (16 July 2009):
confused.xxx is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhi everyone thanks for all your sound advice,this incident happened saturday night and i still havnt spoken to him yet we'v just been texting.
iv asked him to speak to someone about his problem and he is seriously considering it,so il keep you's informed xxx
A
female
reader, ChristianGirl  +, writes (14 July 2009):
wow so many people go through the exact same thing. but the harsh reality is that wateva happens he will always be sorry and he will always go back to treating you like that. whatevas happened you dont deserve to be treated like that. ask him to give up the drink if thats the only time he gets like that. if he wont or starts treating you like that again leave him i know its harsh and a big decision but you cant be expected to just take that type of treatment. verbal abuse may not seem as big a deal as physical abuse but verbal abuse can turn into physical abuse, even if it doesnt it can compleatly destroy you as a person. you dont want to be stuck in a relationship where youre scared to say or do anything thinking your worthless. coz let me tell you your not, you can do this and you can move on from this relationship search your local area for support groups and they will be there for you also youre family and friends will stand by you supporting you please dont allow yourself to become a victim. Please let me know whats happend and good luck! X
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A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE  +, writes (14 July 2009):
 hes bad news could you imagine starting a family with this guy well hes probably not going to change you need to get rid of him before he hurts you even kills you you seem like a nice woman you can do way better, You can make him choose either you or the alcohol normally i wouldnt say to give him an ultimatum but this can be life or death some people cant handle alcohol your bf seems like that type he shouldnt be drinking at all tell him its you or the booze and stick to your guns dont make him quit cold turkey you can even go to counseling with him he seems like a (decent guy when hes sober) and possibly worth sticking by and helping if you rely love him and he loves you he will make the right decision good luck and be careful
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