A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Four years ago I met the first guy to ever show me proper attention. This led to two painful years of me thinking we were in a relationship and him using me. After everything came to a bitter end and I slowly started to be happy within myself again (after life cruelly put me in every one of his lectures so I could watch him happily move on with his new fling).This guy has always been a part of my life whether we were fooling around or completely no talking with the distant status of facebook friend. For one thing it taught me to be so much more aware on who I want to be involved with and the reasons behind it however I admit that recently I have allowed him back into my life. First meeting up just to talk and slowly developed into daily contact and wanting to be more. We haven't progressed from a kiss as I won't allow it, I may be naïve in how I am behaving now but I certainly don't want to be hurt like that again, which gives the question... what do I do? I know, really, only I can make that decision for myself and although I know it will go nowhere and I will get hurt no matter how many times I tell myself I don't care I do. I just can't help feeling I might regret not living wild and free whilst I'm young.I am hoping some of you out there with a wiser head on your shoulders than mine can offer me some gentle advice to steer my in the right direction.Thank you for your help
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2014): What I dont understand is, why put yourself in that position again. If it was really that bad and he was using you and you KNOW this, why ever meet up with him again? Let me tell you when you have an attraction to some one and they are your ex, and you want to remain friends , yet you still have resentment toward him... its an absolute recipe for disaster. Theres a 98% chance your past history will repeat. I agree that you are hung up on him, maybe you could find a guy that likes you for you, not for what you have or for what they can get from you. There are genuine guys out there, they just tend to get overlooked.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (9 January 2014):
 I guess it depends from the translation :).
Does " I want to live wild and free " mean : I am going to let this guy use me as an occasional fuck buddy and go in and out of my life according to his whims " ? Then you do not need , IMO, to be very old or very wise to see that this is a losing proposition.
Because, you LIKE the guy. You are not just after sex and hook ups and carefree experiences- after all, you could get that from mostly any guy on campus, if you just wanted a little walk on the wild side. Instead, you are majorly hung up on the guy , and still carry a torch for him after 4 years, and I guess deep down you feel that if you can put a foot back through the door sexually speaking, then he will like you more.
I would not count on that. If he has not developped an emotional attachment in 4 years , it's not by becoming wild and free with him that you'd win his heart. Heart and penis are two separate orgens. And you would not even give him anything so new and exciting for him, I guess he is wild and free already with his flings.
Conclusion, you are cruising for an emotional bruising. If you really have to be wild and free, then go be it with someone you haven't such a heavy emotional investment on.
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