A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello,I'm pregnant with my ex's baby. He doesn't know yet and I'm debating about him ever knowing. I left him because he hurt my pets and was very mean to my son (who is 2). He would call my son names, say that he would grow up gay and things like that. I don't want him to have any contact with his child because I know what it could do to the child's outlook on life. I don't want a child who's father hurts them in anyway (physically, mentally, emotionally). Is it right to tell people I don't know who the father is and raise him/her on my own? Please help!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2011): The ex doesn't need to know, but eventually the child needs to know and needs to know why there was no contact.
A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (6 April 2011):
 In your situation I think that you are right for keeping this. It's in the baby's best interest and I think the kid would grow up much better not knowing their father then having a broken home with one.
No one has to know who the father is. You can tell the people who you are most close with but even that is your choice. You may want to tell them that you know who the father is and why you want him out of your life so that they don't urge you to pursue who it may be. In the end you are never wrong for doing what is right for you and your children to keep them safe.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2011): I think that a child should always have a father in his or her life. That being said if the father is a terrible person and says mean things to a two year old then the child is better off with out him. If you fear for the child's safety then don't tell him. There is nothing wrong with being a single mom. But just remember that means that you get no money from him or anything else. As for a father figure you might have to substitute with someone else like your own father. A child still needs a father even if it isn't his/her real father. Best of luck.
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