A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:The father of my child passed away two years ago when I was six months pregnant. He was 19 and in a drunk-driving accident (the guy who hit him was drunk) and I was 17 and a senior in high school. We, admittedly, had only known each other for three months prior to the pregnancy but considering the child, we were planning on getting married after I graduated high school.Now my son is a year and nine months old and my best friend (whom is a guy) has been the biggest help since his birth! He and I have known each other for ages, since we were just a few months old ourselves. I always knew he liked me (though he never admitted it) but I didn't start seeing him in a new light until my son was born. He has some truly amazing paternal skills and he doesn't even have a child of his own!I still haven't forgotten my son's father and his parents actually come over to visit their grandson once in a blue moon. I'm trying not to be selfish here but I'm finding myself feeling quite attracted to my best friend of over 19 years. I mean, he was the only one to tell me I looked beautiful in my prom dress even though I was eight months pregnant. How do I go about assessing these feelings without pissing anyone off?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2009): Thank you so much to both responders! I greatly appreciate all you've told me! My best friend actually admitted to me just today that he was feeling quite depressed when my late-boyfriend and I were together. He didn't want to interfere with my happiness, though, so he said nothing. I can definitely see myself having a future with my best friend and he really is amazing with my son!
Thanks again!
A
male
reader, vba67 +, writes (14 July 2009):
Who are you pissing off? If you think the feelings mutual between the two of you; then go for it. From your writings, it sounds as if he really cares deeply for you. Do not base your decisions on what others think, your life is about your happiness, not others around you and what they think. The guy sounds as if he's a really good guy, don't lose out on him. Anybody can be a dad, but it takes a special person to be a father (I know this saying has been recycled many times, but it still works).Just have a talk with your friend to see where you and he stand. Good luck!
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A
male
reader, GrimmReality +, writes (14 July 2009):
 Well being that the father has passed on, his family can always take heart in knowing that he did leave a piece of himself behind with the child you two had together.I am sure it is hard trying to sort out the feelings you have for your friend, and the memories you have of your son's father. I also imagine it is quite natural for someone in your situation. Perhaps you feel like you would be letting the surviving family members down if you start dating again, or that in some way it is disrespectful towards them or their memory of him.Please understand that you are human, with wants and needs, just like all of us. There is nothing wrong in how you feel or what you feel, for you are human.You do not need to seek anyone's permission to begin to date again. This is your life, and if this guy can be a great male role model for your son, then thats all the better, and your son may thank you for it one day. The grandparents may be apprehensive at first, but that is natural. But what also is natural is that you need to move on with your life now, and give your son the best shot you can at a great future. It sounds like you may be able to do that.I wish you the best of luck
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