A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:been married for 10 years my wife and i watch porn and when three somes are on she gets turned on and i would ask if she likes what she sees and she always says she yes when i ask her if she wants a 3-some she always says i would never do that one time we were watching porn and she ask would you rather have a male or female i said i like to do it both ways mmf or wwm i dont know if she had 1 in the past or not she dont talk about the past but she enjoys her toy and me
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2009): I agree with everyone. Talk to her, and talk alot...
One option might be a get away to a resort where adult play is common. There are places for couples where this kind of play happens, and many keep it a specail vacation thing.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2009): the moment a 3rd person is introduced in a relationship it goes downhill. don't let the fantasy fool you.
you can get turned on and have better sex while watching the 3some porn but becareful if you do this in real life. many have done and have the scars to show.
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A
female
reader, Anastasia  +, writes (1 June 2009):
 Hey,
A third party is always risky as the next aunty said. It is something that you need to make sure you want to try. Also your relationship needs to be solid as the Rock of Gibraltar to withstand it. Both parties need to be seriously secure with each other, love each other and know that this is just the realization of a fantasy and not the permanent incorporation of a third party.
I would only say go ahead with this if you are 500% sure, your relationship can withstand it.
Ana
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A
male
reader, rocknroll +, writes (1 June 2009):
Bringing a third party is always risky. Many relationship have failed after this adventure. You could be setting yourself up for disaster if you really love her and want to keep her. Once you open a woman up to this and she takes hold of it, she could be leaving for good with one of the new partners.
You really need to think this through and weigh these risks to your relationship. You might decide to get a doll instead or just stick with the toys. If things are getting boring in bed, then there usually is areas of the relationship suffering to, and a vacation might be in store.
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A
male
reader, koenig  +, writes (1 June 2009):
I think you have to realise there is a massive difference between fantasy and reality. She may get turned on by the idea of threesomes, she may get turned on by the idea of having sex with other men while you watch and she may even get turned on by the idea of a lesbian affair. Before you get offended, I'm not saying she does, I'm just saying they're possibilities.
However, just because she is turned on by them, doesn't mean that she wants to do them. When she married you, she may have decided that you're the only person that she ever wants to be intimate with for the rest of her life. Also, although the idea turns her on when it's other people, the idea of you having sex with another woman might make her feel physically sick. Again, I'm not saying these are definitely how she feels, I'm just trying to get you to look at it from other perspectives.
If we forget that though and assume that she'd like to have a threesome and nothing about your relationship is stopping her. Why else might she not want to do it? Threesomes are still considered quite deviant. Is she a mother? It would set a strange example to her children... Is she a prominent figure in the community, a teacher or doctor perhaps? How would it impact her reputation if people found out about it? What about her friends and family? How would they react if they found out?
There are so many things that could put her off the idea of actually going through with and transforming it from fantasy to reality. Short of asking her and then asking her reasons behind wanting to and not wanting to, you're never going to know.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2009): Sometimes people watch porn and get turned on by what they watch, but they wouldn't want to actually do it in reality. Some fantasies are like that. A common fantasy among women, for instance, is being raped. No one would actually like being raped in real life, but you can surely get turned on by thingking about it. Some males watch tranny porn or gay porn and get turned on, but it doesn't mean they'd like to do ir in reality. Simple as that.
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