A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have just been married for ten years. We have been having some problems. Nothing I did not think we could not work through. I just found out he has been talking to an old girlfriend from 20 years ago. He hid it from me. Of course I live in a somewhat small town and found out from others. He will not give me much details. He was meeting her for lunch, calling, and emailing her. He says they are just friends and nothing sexual happend. I just don't believe him. I asked him for her name and he finally told me after two days. Now I wanted to know details and he still is withholding most of them. I do know he told her about us and me. I asked him to move out because I just don't know what to do. I am so crushed and confused. Have I done the right thing or am I pushing him right to her. We also have two young kids.
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male
reader, 2old4this +, writes (26 March 2009):
 Yea, something has gone wrong at least in his mind with your relationship. It may be something very simple to fix. Either way, you guys need some help I think. I'm not gonna lie, you may have given him the excuse he was looking for to go be with this woman. But you can't look at it like that. Just try and do the counsiling thing with him. Sometimes we need to lose something for a while before we really understand how much we really wanted it. Perhaps this moving out will affect him that way.
A
female
reader, superrrshawna +, writes (26 March 2009):
 I think you did the right thing in asking him to move out because he has not been honest with you. Secrets don't make friends, so they especially don't make spouses. Living with him might have made things worse between the two of you.
I suggest asking him to go to marriage counseling. Have a third party mediate a conversation between the two of you about this other woman, so everything is out in the open. Let him know you want to work things out, but that he is going to have to cooperate because relationships take two.
Good luck! XX
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A
female
reader, M0R3N@  +, writes (26 March 2009):
Hi, im sorry for ur situation...I say ur doing the right thing. If he really wants to be with u he will prove his love to u and end all contact with this Lady. If he wants to be with her go ahead n let em. If its meant to be he will come bak. This is my opinion and stay strong!
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