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anonymous
writes: I am so sorry to post this but I think this matter needs to be addressed.A couple of night ago I suffered domestic abuse at the hands of my partner and not for the first time either.This time i was told by the police to go to my gp and document all the bruising and no it wasnt just a split lip it was an all over attack.I have recieved a reply from an annon male reader in reply to my post which basically blamed me because im on medication from the doc for depression and have a binge drinking problem.And my reply to him is try having depression mate its not easy because i cant put a bandage on it or strap it up doesnt mean im not hurting or in pain.This is the worst type of pain that you have where no one sees the wound.And because i drink that doesnt excuse anyone from battering me. Im just a person I have A NAME I HAVE FEELINGS I HAVE A LIFE just because its not your life dont pass sentance until you have lived it ok Reply to this Question
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female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (20 November 2006):
 The woman who posted needs to contact women's aid or a similar community organisation. Both parties require specialist counselling, and I think any alcohol issues require help from a doctor. I am aware that domestic violence is not always about men beating women, but I think the main issue here is that domestic violence of any form is just wholly unacceptable whatever the causes and circumstances. Whether you call this incident domestic violence or not is irrelevant at this stage - there is a serious relationship problem that requires urgent help here. Mapping out the finer details of who said what, who did what is secondary in importance to the need to seek help for the various problems of both of you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2006): Both of you need to dummy up. Get some counselling separately and as a couple. Give it 12 weeks.
I have to say hardly a soul changes drastically past their mid twenties. They have to have the serious desire to improve for themselves knowing it is best and that they can be a better person for those they love.
Alcoholism is a hard disease to battle. Of course she suffers depression as most alcoholics use the substance to make themselves feel numb; avoidance.
I don't think depression should excuse ANYONE of being violent, unreasonable, abusive mentally or physically.
Sounds like some ground rules need to be laid down.
How about if she is drinking...you aren't going to hang around her and watch her destroy herself anymore.
How about saying if she wants to drink, three only.
How about she drinks only with you around and not with so called "friends".
How about she then registers into a 12 step program for her drinking and also anger management.
Were one of her parents or both alcoholics? Usually children of alcoholics,unfortunately follow in their steps.
She is in serious need of counselling to deal with all her mental and emotional scars.
You would do good to support her and get yourself some counselling.
Take care.
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male
reader, maxsteel86 +, writes (20 November 2006):
 Hmm sorry to hear about your situation but why dont you just take a baseball bat to your partner's head? If he gets away with it, so should you be able to. I mean just one quick whack. You might actually enjoy it! Or is that what you're afraid of?
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIt was my partner that posted the domestic abuse story. sorry to admit that yes, i did strike her.. once. what she fails to tell is that we own a 2 year old german shephard who, whilst she started the attack on me which resulted in a cut cheek from yet another one of her drunken attacks towards me, the dog was protecting me from her assault. a lot of the bruises she sustained from the attack were of her falling over on numerous occasions caused through her drinking and of the dog. i admit that i have left some finger marks on her upper arms where i had to restrain her but it was never and would never be a full scale attack on a woman. agree or dis-agree on what i did but that is the problem with some women. they never put over the other side of the story and domestic abuse is a lot higher towards men from women than you think.
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