| A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: ok, here goes, with partner 6 years, engaged to be married, men suddenly taking interest in me, but since im getting the attention, it doesnt bother me anymore when girls chat up my man... is this a sign its over?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (28 December 2006):
 I've got some insight into this. I have been in this spot. The most important thing, and I can't stress this enough, are boundaries. You MUST have them.
Relationships mature, get better and also get mundane. They need to be nurtured, always. Sometimes, when we become complacent, we forget to cherish and show our feelings to our spouse. Why is this? It's because we just expect they'll be there the following day.
We also fall into a comfort zone of trust, expectations and familiarity. This can be a great feeling of ease but as I said, it's important to remind your mate they're special.
I became jealous once, in 21 years of marriage. Not because I felt my wife would cheat on me either. It was because I was feeling somewhat overlooked. I resented the fact she could have fun, while meeting and talkng to strangers in a social/night club type setting. To me, that meant she was not getting the same feeling from me. The part I resented was this, in my opinion, the guys were probably interested in her. No big deal to her, but it felt threatening to me.
My advice is this. Always make your partner feel like number one. If they are confident that you care for them, they'll be content. Just because you're not concerned that he's enjoying a little limelight form the opposite sex, doesn't mean you don't cherish him. It means he's having fun and you trust him. It's a good idea though to step back and remember what it is you do like about him and why you want it for yourself. Remember the qualities that drew you to him. by the way, many people would try to confine their partners to relationships that are smothering and restrictive. No talking to members of the opposite sex, no going out, no time apart etc. That builds resentment and can cause bad feelings.
Everubody likes people that make them feel good. We're supposed to enjoy that. That's how we met our partners. Once a couple is formed though it becomes a relationship and involves so much more. The past , prresent and future. The grass is greenest where you water it !!
A
female
reader, Sexybum  +, writes (28 December 2006):
 Well ask yourself how would you feel if you saw him kissing another girl. There is a difference to becoming comfortable with other women trying it on with your man and then feeling comfortable with him actually being owth somebody else.
I agree with what Babygirl has written. You trust him and that is why you are not bothered by other people flirting with hom. If I were you I would ask yourself this... How do you feel about him flirting with other people. Would you care if he dumped you and moved on.... If the answer to this is yes then the answer to your question is that you still care about him. If you can honestly say that you don't care if he is with anyone else... and that means sleeping with them, laughing with them, joking with them, and even eating with them.... Then I guess you are over him.
But I've got a feeling that is you really think about it then you would be upset bu him being with somebody else. You said you two are engaged.. so it would seem to me that he has proved his commitment to you... pherhaps you have more important things to think about than whether a naive gal is making a move on your man.... because you knoe he's going to come to you.
Or it could be that you don't actually trust him with these ladies and you are havcing cold feet and looking for an excuse to leave. Only you can answer the question.It all nails down to whether you trust him or not. If you trust him than no worries but if you don't than I'd start questioning if marriage is really the best idea right now.
Only you know the answer honey.
xxxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2006): http://www.care2.com/channels/solutions/bms/3130
Hi, check out this article for signs that your relationship may be ending....only you can judge what your responses mean to other women chatting up your man.
6 years is a long time to wait to be married with someone, perhaps your relationship needs a tune up, or it is time to cut bait....it is your decision though.
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