A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey everyone,I have a quick question. I have been with my boyfriend for almost two years. 9 months out of the year its long distance when he goes away to school. The other months he's home which is half an hour away from me at most. Anyways me and him have had a lot of problems in the past like him not being affectionate enough (bc he's never had a real gf before me), taking snuggling pictures with another girl when we never did at that time, or not defending me when his friends (girls and guys) are mean to me. We have worked through all of those things mainly by him becoming more affectionate with me and him not talking to the people who were mean to me.But recently we got into an arguement and the gist was basicly me telling him whatever he does behind my back I can do too and him saying he's not doing anything. But afterwards he's been saying things like no one is taking you away from me and we belong together that he wouldnt let someone step in between us not without a fight. So does that mean he's cheating? Should I take what he's done in the past and see those as signs of cheating or was he just really inexperienced when it comes to having a girlfriend bc he never really had one?
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (10 September 2011):
 "But recently we got into an arguement and the gist was basicly me telling him whatever he does behind my back I can do too and him saying he's not doing anything. But afterwards he's been saying things like no one is taking you away from me and we belong together that he wouldnt let someone step in between us not without a fight."........No where in that paragraph did he admit, say, make reference to, hint he was cheating. That's you putting words in his mouth.
The issue is with you not having trust in your boyfriend. In ANYWAY relationship, especially a LDR, you have to have trust in order to make it. Otherwise you two will soon break it.
Define snuggling pictures..as in they're cuddled up together on the couch? Or he's got his arm slung around another girl for posing for a picture?
The only thing that may sound like cheating is "snuggling pics".
I believe you need to cut your boyfriend some slack especially for being inexperienced..he's trying and you said he's improved. Instead of fighting with him about things from the past (which you need to let go of), show him positive reenforcement for the positive changes he's made in the relationship. Tell him that he's doing a great job as a boyfriend, and you appreciate the effort he's putting into the relationship!!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2011): "basicly me telling him whatever he does behind my back I can do too"
No, what you write here makes it sound like you accused him of cheating, and threatened him with you doing it.
Perhaps you and he haven't gotten to the point where you are truly intimate, at a psychological level, which can take years upon years in some couples.
Being away at school does not mean someone will cheat. People can, and do, go years without close intimate relations, and when they love someone truly they will endure it more than you can believe.
Clearly you don't trust him.
What is your family like? What were your parents like? What are his like?
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (9 September 2011):
 He isn't hinting that he's been cheating. He's making reference to the possibility that YOU might. This was in response to your own veiled threat about going behind his back.
In fact if HE had been the one to describe this scenario to us, we might warn him about YOUR intentions.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2011): I wouldn't assume he is cheating, he is just inexperienced. I would take it as he is showing you that he loves you, wants to be with you and he won't give up on the relationship without doing everything to make it work, he has just said it in a way that a man does.
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A
female
reader, Aunty Susie  +, writes (9 September 2011):
 I would not assume from that conversation, that he has been cheating. If you doubt him, you could come straight out and ask him. But I think you are on the right track, in thinking that it is his inexperience with relationships that is behind it.
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