A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi all,I’m virgin and was confused all my entire life about my sexuality because I like boys and sometimes I like girls I feel both of them can be sexy but I’m more toward guys, so I’ve decided to date a guy for the first time to try and discover myself. It was only one night and a blind date (I have not seen him before). When I saw him I’ve stared blaming myself and saying to myself “what am I doing this is wrong?!!” And when he started the foreplay I just felt like I’m sick and I don’t want him to touch me and suddenly I told him to stop and leave. (I know it is rude but really I didn’t enjoy it at all). Now I just feel like “i don’t want to do it anymore” .My question is that means that I’m straight and I have to ignore thinking about boys? Or this was happened to me because i‘ve chosen the wrong guy?Should I try making it with a girl? I’m afraid that I will feel the same! Any advices Thank you
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (12 September 2010):
 To be honest, I think anyone in that situation would have been a bit freaked out if they were a virgin.
It was a blind date, a first date, and you went straight into something very heavy! That would have been enought to put anyone off the situation. You just were not ready for it. I am also a virgin, and I know that if a guy on a blind date started that with me, I would run a mile. Too much too soon.
You sound like you are very confused. Why do you think you are gay? What makes you think this? Do you find men sexy? What is it about them that you like?
Same with women? DO they make you aroused? What do you like about them?
Perhaps you are bi, and like both?
The fact that you reacted so badly to being touched by a man, and you didnt want him to touch you, does make me wonder if you are not gay. As a straight woman, I know that the thought of another woman touching me makes my skin crawl. Urgh. But that is just my preference.
I think sex is something that should happen naturally. You seem intent on forcing the issue in order to prove to yourself which way your feelings point. Forcing it will only make you more confused. Try going out, getting to know both men and women. Dont bring sex into the equation until you become comfortable within a relationship.
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