A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear peopleLately I've been thinking about my sexual orientation.I used to watch porn and I stopped because I hated it and I felt disgusted every time I do it. I watched lesbian porn and I felt aroused. But I HATED it afterwards. lesbian sex used to turn me on but it wasn't what I preferred. I don't fantasize about women. and I stopped watching that and then I stopped watching pornography completely.I used to watch porn between 15 and 18.I'm always afraid of being lesbian while I'm not. I've never been attracted to girls . I love men and I had a boyfriend and right now I'm in love with a man. I never feel anything toward girls. But I always wonder what if I like them while I don't and I feel extreme discomfort around lesbian girls. Thoughts that if I like girls are killing me because I hate that n I became obsessed with this kind of thoughts.When I see women I always want to be like them. I never liked them in any other way. Even now, lesbian porn doesn't turn me on anymore. I love being straight.I feel so guilty for watching that porn, in the past years, now that I'm 20. It seems like what I did is biting me back again. Does that mean I'm homosexual? Does watching lesbian porn means I'm lesbian? or also straight people can watch it? I also have another question related to sexual fantasies, can anything come to mind while being too sexual? I need serious answers. Please don't tell me it's ok to be gay because I HATE THAT.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2011): Most women like other female shapes, maybe boobs more than other aspects.Women don't even know that they are aware of it.It is perfectly normal and natural to be turned on by lesbian porn, but it does not make you gay.
A
female
reader, zhacha +, writes (4 July 2011):
All is 'tolerated' today. However, if you do not want to view or think about the homosexual option (as many simply describe it) then avoid lesbian porn.
Sure, your body may respond, but if your mind, spirit and heart are in conflict you must address that and find peace and affirmation (stop or proceed) withstanding what others say and endorse.
Remember, you have to live with 'you', within your skin when all the computers are turned off.
You're not a homophobe because you have reservations about lesbian porn. To believe that is like believing a you cannot enjoy sex unless they watch some form of porn. Nonsense.
If freedom of sexual expression is what it touted to be then it works all ways and towards everyone's preference. Therefore, no one is obliged or compelled to feel comfortable about all forms of porn.
Be yourself, and don't feel guilty that you feel uncomfortable about some forms of sexuality. Especially in the context of pornography.
You have the right and freedom (last I checked) to enjoy sexuality within what ever 'range' you choose. Even within a so-called 'narrow' range.
Send me a personal message if you'd like to discuss this further.
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A
female
reader, starangle  +, writes (4 July 2011):
Hello. Watching lesbian porn does not make you gay. Female porn is often more artistic and let’s face it women’s bodies are more interesting than some male bodies. If laisbian porn turns you on then why not enjoy this. Maybe you could watch this with your partner, I am sure he would not object you will both get the benefit of it. Do not worry about your feelings, just enjoy.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (4 July 2011):
 Ever yawn when someone else yawns? Ever watch a commercial for food and get hungry? Have you ever cried at a sad scene in a movie? Those are all natural things.
A woman's body is beautiful. A woman who has completely given herself to physical love is also a beautiful thing. Just because you have watched lesbian porn or lesbian dramas doesn't necessarily make you a lesbian. It just stoked your sexual appetite. Women are empathetic creatures (most of us!).
It's very telling about you that you feel guilty for watching lesbian porn. It's telling that you feel extreme discomfort around lesbians. It's telling that you hate it if someone tells you that it's okay to be gay. The only thing I'll tell you is - it's okay to be YOURSELF. Don't violently push against one possibility in your life, and don't let fear cause you to obsess over something that might in fact simply be a normal arousal of a straight woman to lesbian sex. Your sexual orientation is not set in stone. I would only say to keep an open mind, because if there is one thing that would do you harm, it's repressing who you are.
I am not talking about you being a lesbian. It would only be that you're a straight woman who loves lesbian porn. You could be bisexual and happen to have loved only men to this point. Or maybe not. Just keep an open mind and remember that you've done nothing to be guilty for. As long as it's legal, which it is.
You just might be a highly sexually in tune person who responds to sexual stimuli of all forms. Like the yawn, other women showing physical love to each other arouses you. Why feel guilty or hate it? It's as natural as empathetic yawning. Some people don't yawn when others do, and some people are so sensitive that even reading my comments on yawning starts that tickle in the back of their throat.
You are normal. Being aroused by lesbian porn doesn't make you a lesbian necessarily.
I personally think you're too young to worry about labels. You love who you love. If it's a guy, good! If someday it's a girl, fine! No one can tell you who you are except you. And it's okay to explore who you are without fear or shame.
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