A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:Im 13. Ive had discharge for two years nonstop with no period. My breasts hurt i get headaches, ive noticed lots of blackheads and clogged pores, and i am constantly grumpy and hateful. What does this mean? help, i think puberty hates me
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2013): hey, this is my question before i got an account. Thanks for the help!!!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2013): Thank You.This is helpful. I use mary kay face cleanser. it is very light. I have mousterizer, but i never use it, now i know that this is possibly the problem. And my mom had a period in eighth grade. and im in seventh. This is very helpful
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (21 May 2013):
 "Ive had discharge for two years nonstop with no period."
Different amounts of discharge are normal, it varies by woman how much. As you get your period and your cycle becomes more normal, you will notice patterns in it and it should be less constant. You can wear pantyliners in the meantime. If it ever gets yellow or some other color than white or clear, takes on a cottage cheese texture, or smells rancid, that's a sign something is off and you need to see a doctor.
With the headaches, boob aches, and mood swings, puberty just kind of sucks. Sorry. Take some OTC pain pills when you feel bad, go for walks, take hot baths, just try to relax and wait it out.
Skincare though, you can do something about. Most people who get clogged pores go on the offense and attack with the strongest products and keep their face tight and squeaky clean. This will make the problem worse because your skin will respond by overproducing oil. It's a bad cycle. Use a gentle cleanser like Cetaphil or Cerave 2x a day, religiously. Follow with a witch hazel toner. Then use a moisturizer labelled non-comedogenic. It's important not to skip moisturizer because your skin will think it's too dry and overproduce oil. You should never have a tight feeling. It's really good to buy a bottle of tea tree oil or lavender oil and gently pat very small amounts over your face (like 2-3 drops for your whole face) because it kills acne causing bacteria. Once or twice a week, use a facial exfoliator.
Puberty sucks, but unfortunately it's just one of things you have to kind of ride out. Like a virus.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (21 May 2013):
 When my stepdaughter was about your age, she was cranky, she was breaking out, she was grumpy and miserable.
IF you looked at her the wrong way she burst into tears....
I asked her one day "what's wrong?" (I knew but I wanted to see what she felt) and she cried HARDER and wailed "I DON'T KNOW" and my heart ached for her but I also laughed and said 'ANY DAY NOW' and hugged her and three days later she got her first period.
YOU are very normal.
Have you asked your mom how old she was when she got her first period... daughters often are around the same time as moms.
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A
female
reader, fishdish +, writes (21 May 2013):
 That sounds 100% right. Let's talk about the body first. Discharge I've never found to be terribly inconvenient, is it heavy? You may be able to talk to a doctor about it. Even after you get your first period, you will then start to have discharge between periods so this 'phase' never really goes away until menopause as far as I know. The sensitive boobs were terrible. I hated accidentally bumping into a wall and having to double over. Having a sister that would poke them and torture me made it about 10 times worse. Headaches I don't associate with puberty, but that's because I've had them all my life, used to be worse when I was younger. Skincare is TOUGH. Skin is going to have a mind of its own for a while. I think that the quicker you just accept that you're just going to have bad skin years, the better. Try your very best to go with the flow. Also do your best not to overmanipulate your skin. By that I mean, try not to touch it as much as possible. Do not try a new product once a week, let alone once a month. Do not pick at it. Skin is skin. It will replace itself, it will usually fix itself over time. There are products that will help, exfoliators for blackheads, I like the St Ives Apricot scrub and right now I'm really liking this 7in1 knockoff cleanser of olay, but I'm not sure if it's just cause I got older skin now that these are products that work with me. I completely understand that your face is your way of communicating and perceiving the world, but don't feel shame over something you can only control so much. If you are hygenic, then the rest is just genes and age. It will change over time.
As for your feelings, our bodies changing can make for a very uncomfortable time, and it's easy for that discomfort to be converted into anger--why is this happening to me, why do I feel like or look like such a freak right now, and it's easy to project that discomfort and anger at one's body onto others in an aggressive way, to try to find a source to blame for this awkward phase. Plus, I hate to play the hormone card, but I do think changes in chemicals can affect mood.
I found it impossible to keep perspective, so any advice along the lines of "this time will pass" meant nothing to me because at that point, I didn't know any differently. But you know the times where you talk to adults and they have this different perspective and you think that they don't understand you? They may very well not anymore, even though they went through the same feelings and same experiences, and that's because a lot of times, things get better: I haven't been called pizzaface any time recently, no one has checked to see if I'm in the right clique of popular kids, etc. This isn't to say that there aren't expectations of you or that you aren't judged, but they're really different than the self-inflicted and social pressures of physically growing up.
So in sum, puberty hates everyone. For that reason, it's important to stay good to yourself. Exercise. Keep busy in an activity that keeps your mind off the body. Say in the morning a little saying that will give you confidence and inner peace like, I am here and I am proud and I am beautiful. Something I have learned recently is that you can live your whole life unhappy unless you push peace or positivity as a priority. Starting early in life will really set you up for a better place in life. Don't be defeated. Try to identify WHERE this hatred is coming from-for me, it would just seem completely disconnected from what was going on around me, which made it tougher to control. Feel free to private message me, and good luck.
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