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Does this mean that a person could possibly be bi?

Tagged as: Gay relationships, Teenage, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 February 2016) 4 Answers - (Newest, 20 February 2016)
A female United States age 26-29, *owtosavealife writes:

If you're turned on by naked girls sometimes, does that mean you could possibly be bi?

My first porn that I watched had something to do with boobs and it turned me on a lot and ever since then I'd been turned on by boobs. But boobs are boobs right? So I didn't think anything of it and continued watching all types of porn including lesbian and gay and trans, etc...

When I was almost 16 I had the thought "wait am I lesbian? Do other girls get turned on by this stuff?" I've been sexually and emotionally attracted to guys my whole life and have had a crush on the same one since I was 6...I'm 18 now. Anyone else feel this way? Thinking about my sexuality has kind of consumed my whole being and I just want it to end.

Is this what people would call "normal?"

View related questions: boobs, crush, lesbian, porn

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2016):

I'm not bi and I only really like porn with women in it. I suppose I like watching things being done to people who have the same body parts as me, if that makes sense! I have boobs so I guess I can relate to what it feels like when somebodies boobs are being touched etc.

I have watched things with male porn stars and they can be really aggressive and it's all a bit hard core, that doesn't turn me on at all. I remember one video I watched and the men repulsed me, they all looked really pumped up and sleazy I guess.

I am very much heterosexual and attracted to men but I'm not attracted to male porn stars, the way they look isn't my type. I don't like aggressive men and that's the way they come across, but female porn stars can be a lot softer.

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A female reader, YouWish United States +, writes (19 February 2016):

YouWish agony auntYou're turned on by sexual images. You like porn, and erotic images of all forms turn you on. It doesn't mean that you're a lesbian. You have crushes on guys.

Let's use other imagery that invoke a bodily response:

Let's say you're watching a food commercial, and they're showing a delicious, crisp, colorful salad. You see how fresh it is, tiny water droplets hanging from the crispy lettuce, the dressing on it just perfectly, and when you see it, your mouth literally waters and all you can think of is picking up a fork and eating the most perfect salad the camera has ever captured. MMMMmmmm. I'm actually getting hungry for one just typing to you.

Does that make you a vegetarian?

Not at all! There's a reason why they call food images in advertising "Food Porn", because it invokes a biological response.

You respond to erotic imagery. The act of sex, the people in ecstasy (or being paid to look like it's not painful! hah!), body parts flying, a woman's body being filmed in such a way that men and women alike want to run their hands all over such a perfect specimen. Doesn't make you a lesbian. Makes you a red-blooded human with a healthy sex drive.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (19 February 2016):

Honeypie agony auntWomen's bodies are lovely if you ask me. Go to any art gallery or museum and it's celebrated one way or another.

Getting turned on BY them doesn't make you anything (label wise).

I think a naked female body is beautiful and I'm pretty sure that I'm as straight as it gets. I don't want to HAVE sex with a woman, but I can enjoy the looks of curves and soft edges.

Newer studies show that human's sexuality isn't just *boom" one thing. It's a bit fluid. More for some than others. Who knows why?

So let's use me as an example. I might be 90% straight with a 10% bi/lesbian. But the 10% doesn't really affect me and hasn't in my dating life either. I have always dated men. I have never had fantasies involving me having sex with a woman. But I DO like the look of a woman's body.

I grew up with topless and naked beaches as a kid. Didn't bother me one bit. I'm pretty relaxed about nudity. For many people women have always been a source of comfort growing up. Maybe that is why women like the look of another woman.

I don't however watch porn. My imagination works JUST fine without that. Porn isn't reality. Just like any other movie.

And let's say for a minute here that you ARE bi. So what? All that means is that you CAN (not that you will or are) be attracted to people of BOTH gender. Or you might not BE bi. It really doesn't matter. WE are attracted to WHAT we are attracted too, and as long as it is done with another consenting adult, I don't see the issue.

You DO NOT need a label to stick on your forehead that announces your sexuality. OK? What you like sexually, is what YOU like. And that is OK!

Being curious is natural.

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A male reader, Garbo United States +, writes (19 February 2016):

Garbo agony auntIn vast number of cases, porn preference and persons sexual preference have nothing to do with one another. Women often ask the question whether they are lesbian if they watch lesbian porn and the answer is "mostly no". It's mostly because in a group of million women there will always be 2%, which is the size of the gay community, that will prefer sane sex. In other words, huge amount of straight women get turned on by lesbian porn.

This also works for men. While straight men do not watch two gay men, statistics show that lot of straight men are into "shemales", which is feminized men, and like you, many of such men question their sexuality like you and conclude they are straight.

Similarly, lot of people who get aroused by gangbangs, bondage or what not, are only lookers, meaning they would not do it in real life.

Lot of studies have looked for causes of this but there is no conclusive evidence of why people get turned on by same sex while they would never do it.

Finally, just a caution on porn watching that you do: it is addictive and detrimental to actual sex. Porn conditions your brain to be aroused on stimuli that isn't real so when you are in a real sex situation your brain shuts down because it does not correspond to nonreality. People should avoid porn of any kind.

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