A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, i'm 17 years old and have a girlfriend of 10 months. I sometimes look at porn and masterbate when she is away for long periods of time, and when i get an erection looking at porn it is always bigger and harder than when i get an erection doing stuff with my girlfriend (sex, oral, etc). Is this normal? I really like my girlfriend but does this mean i don't like her as much as porn? Thanks for any replys.
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female
reader, K.D  +, writes (13 September 2008):
I will tell you that this is very hurtful thing to do to someone, specially when that person loves you and you doing that behide her back. I dont think you will get over porno cause i went through the same thing he would stop but then would try to look when im not there. I'm smart girl and i will always find out. Belive me you loose trust, respect and everything you had to that person. My segestion to you if you truly love her you need to find God go to church and ask God for help cause his THE only one who can help you. But of course thats if you want.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2008): Me and my gf have a great relationship and i have never even considered watching porn. What happend to the good old days where porn wasnt available for people to see?. When people believed strongly in sex after getting married?. When i was younger yes i was curious as to what females looked like. However I became disgusted in the exposure of this shortly after the age of 13 and feel that it should be something you share with the one you love. Im not saying that im blind to knowign what is and isnt attractive because i can tell if a girl is good looking or not. I do not masterbate my gf does it for me. I like having this rule because its something which "we" look forward to. Its not a one way thing because I make her feel good also. I dont make her do it its up to her when or where it happens. I feel that this has helped our relationship greatly. I have been with her for 5 years and its stayed the same all the way through. My gf is the one that makes me feel sexually aroused and no one else. Not faulse women on tv or the internet or magasines. I like real women. and im a real man. So i sugest loose the porn mate and make the effort. She doesnt diserve you feeling this way about other women. How would you feel if the role were reversed? and she got excited over other men with massive genitals? rather than you?
Ryan, 28 Manchester
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2008): Have you tried giving up porn for a month to see if you will respond to her better? I see by your answer that you want to be with her, so if there is a conflict, get rid of the unneccessary input...btw, porn is not harmless as is so often espoused on this web-site, many men that use porn for years find themselves impotent to real women when they reach late 30's and early 40's!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2008): It's not that i find porn more of a turn-on mentally, it just seems my erection is always bigger when i look at porn. I prefer relations with my girlfriend a hundred times more but i just never get as big.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2008): Sorry but it seems that is the case. If masturbation and porn is more of a turn on than a real girl or atleast your girlfriend, there is something very wrong. I say get out of the relationship now. That sort of thing is very hurtful to the other person and it is good that you are aware of it now atleast. I think some people think fantasy is better than reality, but i'm a believer in making your fantasys a reality, so your not ever settling. So try and find a girl who you are that attracted to(as is the fantasy porn girls ur looking at) or that will do those things with you, so u won't be settling for someone who isn't. You are only settling by being with someone who doesn't please u as much as your fantasys. And your hurting her and yourself even if she is unaware of it. She may not be your fantasy girl, but she might be someone elses, let them find her and you find yours. If detached sex is what u dream of and that is your ideal, just have casual sex and don't share it with one person, that might not be for you. I'm not saying i think doing a bunch of people is ideal, but i believe in not lying to yourself about the type of person you are either and maybe for you, casual sex is ideal. You are only 17 and just by realizing this now, you are ahead of many men way older than you in that area. So i admire your honesty.
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A
male
reader, Replacement  +, writes (8 September 2008):
 Seems that way, doesn't it?
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