A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend just under a year now. In a little confused. We used to talk about our wedding day and kids and stuff. A couple of months ago, we had a couple of big fights but are working through them and he is still affectionate and says I love you often and our sex life is great and we have fun together and talk easily about things. But since those big fights he doesn't talk about the wedding and kids thing anymore. I'm confused as he is sti affectionate and loving but does it mean that he doesn't see a future with me anymore? I mean the other day he mentioned a joint account for our bills and rent so that suggests hes planning with me. I don't want to bring it up in case I cause an issue where there is none though. What do you guys think?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (15 July 2013):
 talking about marriage and kids in the early part of a relationship is common... as the relationship progresses, we may learn things about our partner that make us rethink our original plans.
go from where you are now in the relationship and forget all the wedding/kids talk... it was just a cojoined daydream at the time.
if you don't know where you stand with him you can ask "how are WE?" which is very different from "how are YOU"
A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (13 July 2013):
I think that a lot of time when people haven't been dating for very long they think that their partner is just about perfect. That makes it easy to imagine being married to them.
Then something happens that shatters the illusion that the other person is perfect. I've been there and, although it didn't always make me want to break up, it did make me more cautious.
I think it's best not to talk about it for now. You really haven't been together long enough to make a truly informed decision anyways. In my opinion you need another year or so... If you don't start getting easily annoyed with each other, THEN talk about marriage.
Until then you're sort of living in a fantasy land, part of which fell apart when you had the fights.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (13 July 2013):
 Maybe he sees it as a bit of an emotive issue and isn't ready to talk about it again. Leave the wedding talk for a while and just enjoy being together...the plans will come when the time is right.
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