A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I recently reconnected with a man I have known going on 6 years...we met when I was a senior in high school and I've always been attracted to him but we never pursued a relationship. He never expressed he had any romantic feelings for me so I assumed he didn't want a relationship and so I went on with my life...We kept in touch through email and the last time I saw him face to face was nearly 3 years ago..When he graduated college last year I ended up sending him a letter afterwards congratulating him and telling him that I still had feelings after all these years....I didn't expect him to reply the way he did but he expressed he had the same feelings for me but never made a move..This made me wonder why he never did but we decided to meet up over this past weekend..I drove to his place which is about 3 hours away and felt like we had a good time...In the weeks leading up he told me he loved me and that he wanted to date me and get serious..which is what I want too.During my stay, I was nervous at first seeing him after all these years...but I couldn't help but feel like he was being so casual about me and him...I initiated the PDA and I was the one to tell him I loved him...he reciprocated...but it almost didn't sound serious when he said it...I came back this morning missing him terribly...the few text messages we've exchanged since I got back seems like he's already lost interest in me...I mentioned to him a possible job opportunity that would put me in the same location that he is in now which would give us a chance to live together and spend more time with each other and so I asked him about all of that to see what he thought and all he could say was that it was up to me and it's my career, my decision....I've felt hurt ever since...Ladies/Gentlemen....does this man sound serious to you?? It seems like he's blowing hot and cold air...interested one second then not the next..I can't help but feel upset because I'm ready to make all the necessary changes in my life in order to turn this into a serious committed relationship but at the same time I sense he's holding back or doesn't want that after all. :(
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2016): What I would do is give him a few days space. Don't speak to him even if he speaks to you.
And then after a few days, call him/message him with his choices. He either wants the relationship and you can go ahead and take the steps you need to be together, or you move on.
I'm a strong believer in knowing where you stand in romantic affairs. If his heart isn't in this, you need to find out so your time and life isn't wasted on someone who doesn't want the same things.
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (20 March 2016):
 It's possible that this could develop into a serious relationship, he just doesn't know you very well. It's too early to make life long decisions. So if you take up this job offer, it would be for you only. That means if the relationship doesn't work out, you have no regrets and you would still enjoy living in a new city. I think he got ahead of himself, and was impulsive when he said he loved you. Your contact and your messages sounded like a dream. He wouldn't expect that someone from long time ago would still have feelings for him. Part of this uncertainty is due to the fact that you are long distance, and you did not have prior commitment rather than you had secret crushes on each other. Saying you love each other could be a leap of faith, in order to seal it since it's hard for you to travel to each other. At the same time you have to admit it, you haven't really dated properly or built trust yet.
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