A
female
age
30-35,
*ovelyWoman
writes:Hi everyone. I am new to this so please be nice. ;)There is a divorced, older man (in his 30's somewhere) with kids I am interested in and have been before I even knew him. But I have known him for a few weeks already and I am not sure if he is interested in me. I have also been great friends to his kids so they like me a lot. The other night, he and I were talking and he had put lotion on his hands and then said there was too much so I touched his hands to get some off. Don't get me wrong, I loved that experience and he asked, "You wanna feel my hands don't you?" and I didn't lie to him. He is a pretty nice, decent guy with a job he loves and after talking for 3 hours, he shared the subject of his divorce with me on his own. (he was the innocent one by the way) and then he told me how he doesn't miss her but how he misses having someone to cuddle and hold. Then he asked me if I was going to stay all night so I did and even though his kids sleep in the bed with him, he asked them to move over so that way I could sleep next to him but he made it sound like they were annoying him and suggested they needed to move over. The thing is, I have only known him a few weeks and at first I thought he did not seem interested in me but now he does. He and I have already gone on about topics such as many men and women wanna move too fast in a relationship, how some people don't date others with kids (which he was talking about first) and how we both don't go and sleep with other people we have dated. So I am curious to know if he is interested in me like I am him? The more I get to know him, the more I like him. :) Thanks.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2009): By the way. Yes. He is interested in you. In his shoes i would be desperatelly seeking a babysitter so we could back to bed without all the sprogs and umm.. talk some more.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2009): Lovellywoman. I believe you have the best intentions and i know you said the kids know and like you. But it must strange for them that you suddenly take their mums place in the bed. Put yourself in their position.
Addults get so wrapped up in their own needs that they can forget the kids dont even understand whats going on.
I cant help wondering why they are living in a overcrowded house anyway. But you dont have to answer that. Over here in UK we have the SS. A bit like the gestapo. I believe they are reincarnated nazi's. They are called social workers and they dont like dads having custody of kids. They dont like dads at all. And they probably harm more kids here than the pedo's.
Theres a hint of truth in this nugget.
Q: Whats the difference between a social worker and a pit bull terrier.?
A: You normally get a bit of your kid back from a pit bull.
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A
female
reader, LovelyWoman +, writes (20 October 2009):
LovelyWoman is verified as being by the original poster of the question His kids sleep in his bed because they don't have their own rooms in that house. Aside from the fact that two of their uncles and their grandpa live there with their own rooms. One of their uncles will be moving out after a few months, then they will be sharing that empty room. I have been friends with his kids first so I am not a strange woman sleeping in their bed not if they keep bugging me over and over to stay all night because they like me so much. I help take care of them even when they are sick. The divorce my guy shared with me was all about what his ex-wife had done, she did not cheat but she was always talking to other guys and being more concerned with them rather than with her husband. Maybe I should have explained a lot more... :(
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2009): Well he doesnt seem to care about the the possible consequences of sharing his bed with you with his kids present. And neither do you. But at least you are young and stupid. Even if you didnt have sex he has allready done enough to have his kids taken away. They have been through a divorce allready. They probably sleep with dad for comfort and now theres a srange woman in their bed. He aint gonna be parent of the year is he. I hope their mother is a better.
And divorce isnt a crime yet BTW. But the only innocents involved are the kids.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2009): He is interested. Don't move too fast, or you will find yourself a loser.
Why are his children sleeping in the bed with him? That would bother me.
He said he doesn't miss his wife, only the cuddling. This is a lie. It is human nature to miss someone who has been that close to you. Remember there are two sides to every story, and it was half his fault.
If you are the first person he has seen since the divorce, I know he would still be on the rebound, which does not indicate a good chance that he would ever marry you.
Keep all those things in mind as you pursue this relationship.
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A
female
reader, LovelyWoman +, writes (19 October 2009):
LovelyWoman is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI am not planning on moving too fast. I want to get to know him a lot more than that and I plan on being his friend for now but I just want to know if he feels the same way about me. As badly as I would like to be with him and cuddle and hold him to death, I am going to take it slow and be patient. :)
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (19 October 2009):
You must take this slowly. You dont want to find yourself the antidote for his marriage. He might be interested, but there's no harm in taking your time to make sure you know what he's really interested in.
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