A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i´ve been seeing this guy for 7months right.. i fell for him pretty bad..it wasnt meant to be serious in the beginning.. cause well we both had our plans for our lives.. he´s meant to go away for about 1year.. 1.5years.. that seems to be the "main problem" but to me is not...we broke up before xmas.. and as i am not in my country he had invited me to spend the holidays with him and his family "regardless".. in the end we got back together. BECAUSE HE WANTED ME BACK. 2days before xmas i see that the night before he cheated on me. for "the second time" he did it once before things got really bad between us. (i never knew until that day that it ever happened)we talked and i told him i found out and i asked him and he confessed it all. said he was glad i knew as it made him feel bad and all, he´s not that kind of guy (he goes to church with his family, he brings me to church, he´s that kind of guy)before me, he dated a girl for about 1.5years.. and broke up 6months before we got together.. she seemed to be his biggest love ever. i found old mails to her. just a random 2or3.. he got rid of the rest.. but this one said how he would always only love her. the thought of him with anyone else makes him feel sick to his stomach.. yours forever and all that kind of stuffi know thats what he felt back thenbut to mewhat do i get"we´ll see how things go when im away. we´ll see what happens. yes you know im mad about you but dont force me into saying anything yet. i promised myself id say the L word again when i 100%feel it, we´ll see if everything goes okay then you could come in my trip at some stage"(as i need to save for a good few months before doing a couple of months with him)he has been a great bf after we decided to give it a try after i found out he cheated on meand reading all this old shit is only hurting me(he does not nor will ever know i read them) but there is something missing too.. i feel.. i do not know whats in his mind. he says he does truly care about me. he does things but he says nothing. not one thing. he only answers when i ask. and not seeing me or me not being there does not ever seem to be an issue for him.. he does not even call me baby, honey.. i know he did in the past.. and ive been calling him names for months now. he is very touchy and he does hug me and cuddles me a lot and all when were together but i dunno..is he just keeping things for himself and actually caring..?or is he just kinda caring about me but im just not enough for him?last wknd he said in the nicest way he´d love if he calls and asks what were doing tonight and i say i made other plans.. makes him feel guilty if he ever does that as i make my schedule around him am i crazy and this guy cares about me or this is just pointless by now.. and he just doesnt love me..?
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthink youre both right
stupid me for doesnt have the strength to end it. i think i will be just trying to check out, emotionally at least. i really am feeling so empty. especially after seeing the way he was with other girls in the past.. the way he talked to them..and i get nothing.. he doesnt need to do anything for me to give him everything.. sure im done with it... think i just wont be the girl who will make him feel that way
so yes i am thinking im just waisting my time with him
freaking hurts
but thanks guys really appreciate it
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2011): "he´s not that kind of guy" um yes he is. Twice says he is that type of guy. He cheated on you twice, doesn't make any real effort to be in love you or tell you he does. In fact he told you not to ask him that because he obviously doesn't. So yeah he is that type of guy, going to church means nothing, it just means he can do what he wants then go to confession and absolve his sins.
Yeah you are a bit crazy, crazy in love with a guy who doesn't really give that much of a damn about you.
He might care a bit about you but he doesn't love you and he doesn't care not to cheat on you twice. He will cheat again by the way.
7 months and he's cheated on you twice, all you get is "we'll see what happens" he basically told you he doesn't feel 100% in love with you. He can't even say the word love to you, he says the L word instead.
That's very bad OP, that;s not a good situation at all. Is it pointless? Hell yeah it's pointless, he's just stringing you along.
I wish you luck OP, you have it bad for this guy and he's not even able to say he loves you after seven months. That's horrible.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2011): I would say he doesn't love you enough. He has already cheated on you. He says he's not that king of guy, but he is. Emotionally he is quite cool with you. It does not seem good. You don't feel it's right, so there's your answer. If he really loved you - you'd know. I don't want to be cruel but because you love him you are clinging on to hope that it is all OK really. You could wait around hoping - but you'd be better off looking for someone who is right for you.
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