A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I like this guy (A) but I'm a little confused about his feelings for me and whether or not I've blown it with him. Throughout the last year we'd shared a bed many times but never slept together just spooned.A couple months ago we went on holiday with our friends and whilst I was out of the room I heard everyone discussing something which sounded like that guy A liked me but I couldnt be sure. To sort of test the water I mentioned something that they were talking about immediately after to hint that I'd heard and they all pulled him over and repeatly what I'd said and he looked really awkward.Later that night everyone left and it was just guy A and me, he was pretty drunk and suddenly tried to kiss me out of nowhere. At this point I pulled away before he could for some reason I still haven't worked out as even then I knew I liked guy A.He then sort of interrogated me about my ex and asking me if I still had feelings for him despite me telling him repeatly that I didnt and I had broken up with him, it also made me kinda angry that he'd assume the only reason I didnt want to kiss him would be that I liked someone else so I kinda shouted at him a little. It also turned out that towards the end of our relationship guy A had purposly tried to keep up apart. He tried to kiss me again after that, got rejected again and then I felt bad because he was obviously very drunk so I walked him back and he told me a lot of personal stuff about his family and insisted on holding my hand "for protection"The next morning I asked him why he kissed me and he told me that he was just drunk so I dropped the subject.Then on the last night someone borrowed my sleeping bag so I asked to bunk it with his and his was a double sleeping bag and we were both drunk and slept together and spent the next day joking about it.Anyway we both got back to uni and I found out he's sleeping with a girl casually and Im kinda sad about that...Is there anything I can do to get him back I just want to be with him or does he just want to hookup?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2016): Ask him. Tell him the only wrong answer is not being honest.Worst case he doesn't want to at all.Next worse case is he just wants to hook up. How would you feel about that? If you are okay with it then what's that harm if you're not in a relationship and you both know where you stand.Next possibility is that he wants you but doesn't think you want him. Do you really want him?If you can't handle one of the possible answers don't ask and move on.Life's too short to waste wondering. Either you'll get an answer you want or you won't. The absolutely craziest thing would be if you both really want to be with each other but you are are both to scared to say.Whatever happens and whatever choices you make remember there is nothing wrong with you, and it's your right to choose.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2016): Just assume he just wanted a hookup and used alcohol for liquid-courage. He's messing around with another girl, and failed to mention that while trying to see if you're available for casual-sex.
Don't be sad, be wise. Don't attach your feelings to a player. Even if he's just with her casually, you know you'd be suspicious if they're still fooling around should you decide to date him. Guys with a girl on the side are seldom honest about whether they still fool around. The girl on the side doesn't like getting used and dumped. Do you want that kind of drama?
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