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Does the truth come out when you're drunk?

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Question - (10 June 2007) 11 Answers - (Newest, 24 January 2010)
A female age 36-40, anonymous writes:

does the truth come out when ur drunk?

I always feel like when i have had a few drinks i always say exactly how i feel, its like u have the confidence to say it. A guy that i know well always tells me her really likes me when he is deunk. he always seems to ring me after a night out and tells me how much he thinks about me, and wants to be with me, and once he told me he was in love with me. but then then the rest of the time, we atre just good friends. i started to think i liked him more than i friend and thought he felt the same way cos of what he always says, but then he told me he just wants to stay friends. so why does he ring me all the time when he is out?

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A female reader, 78ta09 United States +, writes (24 January 2010):

78ta09 agony auntwhen my bf is drunk he says he wants to have a baby with me. then he sobers up and flat out tells me he never wants children. men are confusing and never really know what they want. thats why god made women to push men in the right direction. straight out ask him, "do you like me? or do you just call me to poke fun at my emotions?" its that simple. if hes a good friend of yours we will understand and either stop, or pursue you :) good luck!

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A male reader, Waderex United States +, writes (12 November 2009):

From a guy who told a girl A when he was drunk and B when he was sober:

I was scared out of my wits. I wanted to marry the woman who was may friend but she had told me a) that she was a player and b) she was not ready for marriage. Each time I waved good bye to her at the end of a day at college, I thought to myself of Candide and Voltaire's "as good as it could get." Being her friend was the best I could hope for. She was deserved SO MUCH more than I could offer that I could not do anything aside from being her friend unless she told me otherwise.

IF YOU LOVE HIM...(are you willing to put up with all his BULLSHIT?) TELL HIM!!!! Don't Hint. TELL HIM!!! Men melt at the words "I NEED YOU" Give him the support he needs to be a Real Man, assuming he is worth it.

Just the thoughts of a man who still regrets not being man enough to say "I Love You" when he should have.....

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A female reader, snowdrop United Kingdom +, writes (16 June 2008):

with regards to the first orignal post, i too am going through the same thing, i met a guy who tells me all sorts when hes drunk, how hes thought about us being together, hes thought about how his son would get on with my children etc but the next day and all through the week he seem very uninterested but then the same thing happens again the week after and i end up going home with him again. i`m just going around in one big circle, the other problem i have is i am already in a relationship at the moment but things arent good and havent been for some time and my head can`t figure out if this situation is clouding my jugdement over my partner as well, i know i really like the other man or otherwise i wouldnt be doing what im doin to my partner i just cant help myself as when its happening i feel on top of the world only to find the next day reality hits back and then i`m so unhappy.

i have told my partner we need a break, time away from each other and im hopin this will give me the answers i need but it`s only been a day and my head is feeling more messed up than ever, im at my wits end and dont know what to do?

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A female reader, snowdrop United Kingdom +, writes (16 June 2008):

with regards to the first orignal post, i too am going through the same thing, i met a guy who tells me all sorts when hes drunk, how hes thought about us being together, hes thought about how his son would get on with my children etc but the next day and all through the week he seem very uninterested but then the same thing happens again the week after and i end up going home with him again. i`m just going around in one big circle, the other problem i have is i am already in a relationship at the moment but things arent good and havent been for some time and my head can`t figure out if this situation is clouding my jugdement over my partner as well, i know i really like the other man or otherwise i wouldnt be doing what im doin to my partner i just cant help myself as when its happening i feel on top of the world only to find the next day reality hits back and then i`m so unhappy.

i have told my partner we need a break, time away from each other and im hopin this will give me the answers i need but it`s only been a day and my head is feeling more messed up than ever, im at my wits end and dont know what to do?

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A female reader, snowdrop United Kingdom +, writes (16 June 2008):

with regards to the first orignal post, i too am going through the same thing, i met a guy who tells me all sorts when hes drunk, how hes thought about us being together, hes thought about how his son would get on with my children etc but the next day and all through the week he seem very uninterested but then the same thing happens again the week after and i end up going home with him again. i`m just going around in one big circle, the other problem i have is i am already in a relationship at the moment but things arent good and havent been for some time and my head can`t figure out if this situation is clouding my jugdement over my partner as well, i know i really like the other man or otherwise i wouldnt be doing what im doin to my partner i just cant help myself as when its happening i feel on top of the world only to find the next day reality hits back and then i`m so unhappy.

i have told my partner we need a break, time away from each other and im hopin this will give me the answers i need but it`s only been a day and my head is feeling more messed up than ever, im at my wits end and dont know what to do?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2007):

If he really loves u he should man up and let u know. And until he says something about it, u should go on with life. But the truth will cum out.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2007):

I think he really loves u and wants 2 be with u but he doesnt want 2 risk a friendship. But if he doesnt risk it, he might miss somethingbeautiful

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A female reader, cuttieicy Philippines +, writes (11 June 2007):

cuttieicy agony auntthe guy is under the influence of alcohol girl wake up. you should get a guy drinking cofee instead.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2007):

i think you should forget about this guy, he is only messin with your head, this normally happens when guys are drunk its normal for them.... move on and forget him and don't answer his calls..............

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2007):

I think the answer is "yes and no", really. Certainly drink makes us braver but I don't think it is always the case that "the words of a drunk are the thoughts of a sober person"... drink CAN make us spill our true thoughts, but you also have to remember that it can cloud our judgement and make us do/say things that aren't necessarily what we would think or do when sober.

Chances are your friend DOES like you, but I would have thought that if he really wanted to take it further, he would have done so by now.

Maybe he worries that if you became more than just friends, and it ended up not working, it would spoil your friendship?

I think the best thing to do would be to maybe ask him, seriously, why he always says these things when he is drunk.

Hope this helped x

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A female reader, Carina South Africa +, writes (11 June 2007):

Carina agony auntDrinking clouds your thoughts. At the time you think you're telling the truth, because that's what you're feeling at the time. However, the day after you often realise you've exaggerated your feelings. On the other hand it does make us talk about what's on our minds.

My feeling is that this guy is thinking about you a lot and wondering himself whether he wants it to go further. When he's drunk he wants to say these things to you, but when he's sober his natural caution stops him, perhaps because he doesn't really know yet and he doesn't want to ruin the friendship.

If I was you I'd keep things as they are and enjoy the attention when he's drunk but not take it too seriously. Give him time to think about it. After a while, if he hasn't talked to you like this when he's sober why don't you just tell him that it's lovely that he thinks of you and calls you after a night out, but that it confuses you about how he feels. Suggest that if he doesn't really feel that way could he please stop calling you and telling you these things. It might just get him to open up. If not then enjoy him as a friend! Good luck!

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