A
female
age
26-29,
*lease help me
writes:ok so im in year 11 at school and i have had this crush on a guy for 7months now and i cant stop thinking about him im falling head over heals in love with him, but the thing is, he had a gf and i didnt know about it and stupidly i told my cousin that i liked the guy and he told the boy i liked, things were ok then he and his gf split up and after the week holiday we didnt speak for a week (he said that if i had just talked to him that week we would be together) and he got a new gf but my feelings havent stoped, then about 2 weeks ago i txt him telling him that i still have felings for him and he told me he understud and we would still be mates but he said "tbf if i wasnt in a relationship i would probs be with you" and we have stayed friends and we act the same all this time we have flirted played around talked and everything and just when i thought i was getting over him he txts me sayin he doesnt know what to do about me and his gf so i asked what he ment and he turned round and said " well half of me wants to stay with ******** and the other half wants you" we talked about it and during that time he keeped making it sound like we would get together and the next day after telling his gf he acted megga flirty with me at skl then later he txts me saying "is it ok if we stay mates and if you wait i think ******** will do summit to get me back" i didnt understand that does he want me or not he never leaves me alone he always finds a reason to be near me he always talks with me we flirt and this is killing me i just dont understand why he acts the way he does he even told me he wasnt happy in the relationship he is in but i know because he is having sex with her that he wont leave her because he is scared am i not worth the risk? but the worst thing is that everyboady i know says hoow gd we would be together and that we seem like we are together anyway and the things he says somtimes do i just think they mean more than they do?? please help
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (6 March 2011):
 As you will often read on Dear Cupid " Actions speak louder than words " so, no, what he says is not very relevant. He is targeting you as his back- up plan , in case something goes wrong with his gf or he decides he is tired of her- and with his attentions he's keeping you "warm" and under his sphere of psychological influebce. Basically, he is stringing you along. Mostly, as you have suspected, because he has a physical relationship with the current gf and he is not sure he could have one with you ,- or if it would be as good.A bird in the hand is better than two in the bush - this type of thing.So no, he does not think you are worth the risk- if he had thought that , he'd already have dumped his gf to be with you .
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