A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay so I really dont know how to start this off, so I'll start from the very beginning. Ive been dating my boyfriend for 3 years. Back when we were dating for about a three months he had to move to a different city. We decided that we werent going to be together, but we still talked everyday. About a month after we broke up he tried dating one of my friends(also his ex)...of course this hurt me really bad since he was/is my first boyfriend. I thought that we were going to get back together because he had mentioned it in one of our conversations. After I found out that he was trying to get with my friend I completely stopped talking to him. About a month after, he called me and asked me to come back to him and that he was truly sorry for what he did. I knew that I was going to say yes, but I wanted him to go though the pain he put me though during the last couple months, so I didnt say yes to him and kept him waiting for about two months. Ever since then me and him have been very happy we hardly fight at all. Or at least thats what I thought at that time. I was at that friends house that he tried getting with on valentines day. By this time we had been dating for about a year. Another friend(another ex) was there as well and wanted to show me some text messages that he had sent her. Some of them said.."I cant wait to see you" "Why did we break up" "I Love you" I went crazy and called my boyfriend and broke up with him. He told me that he loved me and that it was not him that sent those text messages. Later that day i went home to find roses and a teddy bear from him for valentines day. I couldnt take it anymore so I called one of my friends(not an ex) to come over. She calmed me down and told me to call my boyfriend and talk things though. After about a week we got back together. After this we truly have been happy and there are no problems at all in our relationship. I love him and I know he loves me. He has been with me for 3 years and these are the only 2 huge fights that we have ever had. (lol we do fight but over dumb stuff...what couple doesnt fight lol.)We try to see each other everyday and spend as much time together. My problem is my friend that he tried dating at the beginning of our relationship she is ALWAYS saying rude things about him. She says that he is ugly, worthless, and stupid. She has told me that I have lowered my standards to date him. She makes him seem like the worst boyfriend when I clearly know he isnt. Every time i mention something sweet that he has done she always tries to make her boyfriend look better. She has even told me to dump him. And the worst part she sits there and jokes about this...like if my relationship is a joke!! Ive tried telling her that he has changed soo much and that he is not the guy she use to date. He has truly changed and he makes me happy. Sometimes I think does she want to date him? What can I do to stop her? Please Help Me!!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you to both of you!!!
A
female
reader, chickpea2011 +, writes (4 December 2011):
 Hi,
Like you mentioned every relationship have it's problems. We are not perfect, and sometimes we make mistakes. I understand that your boyfriend was trying to date one if your friends, it must have been very difficult for you, because you still love him so much during that time.
You know, sometimes we go through stuff in our lives that doens't make sense, and that time your boyfriend was doing what he thought it was right for him. During that experience, I guess he realize how much he still loves you, so now you are together. He's very sorry for the pain he has caused you, and try to prove to you in different ways, buying things for you, being romantic, spending time with you.
I think what matters is that you are happy together, and he's perfect for you. Who cares what your friends think of him, specially this particular girl? I think she likes your boyfriend and that's why she's trying to break you guys up. She's not your friend... And I will suggest that you distance yourself from her. You don't need to be enemies, but just know her true intensions. If in case you see her, let her talk, but don't pay attention.
I am glad that you are happy now...
Good luck / best wishes...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2011): she doesnt sound like the friend you really need to have..
you should really try to talk to her about this. or you could try to encourage her to focus on her own relationship (turn the focus to the relationship shes in, rather than on the one youre in) it would help her to get over your boyfriend, who obviously has hurt her in some way. steer her in the direction of the guy shes with, and not the guy that she used to be with.
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