A
male
age
41-50,
*rianLovesTaylor
writes:I'm in love with Taylor and she has promised to be with me and ashley for a year and half now. But found out she started seeing a guy on the internet 3 months ago and i can admitt she has been distant since then. I love her and she loves me and my daughter ashley. Well she told us that a few days ago but i have not ehard from ehr in 3 days and when i did she denied being with anyone else that i should not believe it. Problem she does not live here anymore and thats why we been waiting for her to come back. well when i can go get her. I need to know if she is with me or that guy or either of us and if she will be with Ashley and i. We got into fights well arguements mainly me being insecure and not trusting her or believing ehr. I guess i might have been right at the same time didn;t thinks eh would ever leave. So what do i do and can i do anything? I need to know what it is because its very important to my daughter and my emotional wellbeing. thank youBrianBeing a single father and finding the best girl for my daughter and myself especially that i can trust is beyond difficult and needs to be soon due to ashley needing a female influence and help in her life. Her mother has nothing to do with her and lives over 7 hours away anyway. So please help me. What do you see?
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male
reader, BrianLovesTaylor +, writes (5 August 2008):
BrianLovesTaylor is verified as being by the original poster of the questionShe is still not talking to me and my daughter and we are alone. It was for Ashley's sake yes but not jsut hers. i believed in her and she asked me to marry her a few times and I had faith but yeah with anyone whos been heartbroken and weary you have doubts. Yes they can cause major issues and they have but nothing like me leaving her for somoen else or wanting to really!? She is a really good person inside she just been hurt and abused and negelected so long she wasn;t used to my kind of love i know this but thats why on a daily basis i checked on her and our relatioship. Yes it looks like i pissed ehr off or made her feel bad or guilt that pushed her to runa way but if she truly loves us and is a good person no matter her past or my insecurities wouldn't love win out? I'm sorry and sad! She is the best girl i have ever known esp for ashley and she has wanted kids since she was young and gets goofy around babies!
She is fun, sweet, exciting and hot too! :(
Point is i believed her more then not and didn;t think she was capable of lying to ashley or myself even as she was leaving. Others pissed her off mainly not me but I'm the one lost. :(
Can anyone help me get her back. Figure out what i can do and say to make it better?
A
female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (2 August 2008):
 Not a lot of details to go on here, i assume this woman once lived with you but moved out?
I know where you're coming from where kids are concerned. I know that if i ever did get involved with someone else, its got to be the right one this time. I couldn't put them through another relationship. Its not fair on them. I spent 2 yrs with someone that got on great with the kids, but he wasn't a nice enough person for the long term and i ended up sticking it out longer than i should for the kids. But its soul destroying. So where its importnant that we choose the right person for our kids, its not going to work if thats all thats good about the relationship.
I undesrtand you wanting a female in your daughters life, i always feel my son needs a father figure. But you cant rush things like that, and i dont get the impression this woman you're talking about is a good role model anyway?
When you date someone, the worst thing you can do is come across as wanting a mother for your daughter, that will send someone running as fast as their legs will carry them!
It is hard work though finding someone we like and who are good enough for our kids. There's a lot of things that need to come together. And finding them all, is like finding a needle in a haystack!
If this woman is dating someone off the net, she isn't stable enough for you two surely?
C xxxx
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (1 August 2008):
Sweeite if you want a mother figure in your daughters life then get an Au Pair or a nanny.
Don't subject her to an endless parade of girlfriends. And it's hardly the greatest chat up line: "Hi, I have a daughter. Fancy taking her bra shopping?"
You have to see this girl as your girlfriend, not anything else. Your daughter is important but not a deciding factor on whether to keep someone around.
If you think she's cheated then either forgive her and move on, or dump her.
Good Luck!! xx
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