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male
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anonymous
writes: I was seeing an older woman. The age thing never bothered me, and at first it bothered her but she soon got over it. Everything was going great with our relationship. Then about 6 months into the relationshipIi was a couple hours late getting to her house, because I had to help my parents move furiture. Then I received a phone call from someone I work with, cuz I needed to work for them while I was driving. I lost signal so had to drive back a couple miles and call back. When I finally got to my Lady Friend's house she was pretty upset. I told her everything that had happened. She said that it reminded her about when she was married to her ex and he was always cheating and she would wait with her kids and he'd never come home. This is when we kinda broke up. I had thought about it and I think that she has problems with commitment and true intimacy with someone she really cares about.She told me that I am the perfect guy for her, but I was missing 1 characteristic that she wants. That being I am not as TAKE CHARGE as she wants. This is something that I feel has been changing in me already. Then over the next 3 months we talked every day for hours, and we would still be intimate. I was paying for everything for her. Mowing her grass, buying her presents. And she told me that I seemed at times clingy which she didnt like. Since then I have started giving her space and she calls me. Her birthday just came up and I gave her some presents, and she loved them all. When she got everything she called me and said how sweet I am, then she started talking bout how she has problems with intimacy which confirmed my guess. She said that she really needs to work on it. I don't know if she's talking about working on it so me and her can get back together or what... All I know is that I love her with all my heart and I know she still cares about me. And to be honest I want to marry her. At this point though I don't know what to do. Do I keep giving her space or do I just go for it, or what???
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female
reader, shania  +, writes (28 May 2006):
 I get the impression that this relationship is all one sided.Your lady friend is quite happy for you to cut her grass,for you to get your wallet out and pay for everything and then when you want to be intimate with her....she backs off and says you are too clingy...you cant win..can you? This woman cannot have it both ways...its not like you have been dating for a few weeks and then you have gone all serious with her....then i would understand why she doesn't want to be serious...but,you have been seeing her for over 6 months and yet she gives you the cold shoulder....isn't it funny how she loves the gifts you give her.I think you will have to get a bit tough here...ok...her last relationship was a no no but that excuse is wearing a bit thin now...you have proved your love to her...what more does she want??? I would back off...let her do the running...but lets see if she wants you for the right reasons,do what she said and TAKE CHARGE...lets see if it works...dont go running to her...you want her to miss you as a person and not just for your wallet...sorry if that sounds harsh but from where im standing...it seems like you are doing the giving and she is doing all the taking.You want more out of this relationship so you will have see what she does when you leave her alone and say that YOU need space to clear your head...let her think that you are having second thoughts....but ask yourself this question......Do you want to play mind games with this woman?...or do you want an honest relationship with someone who wants you completely?...I know which one i would want....Good luck.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2006): I know where your coming from, but if i was you i would give her another 1-2 months and then see how she feels about you, if you love her and you know she loves you then i dnt see what the problem is, all you have to do is convince her that you will never be like her ex-husband you will never cheat on her and do anything to hurt her
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A
female
reader, Smiler +, writes (28 May 2006):
 Hey Therewell babe where to start like you suspected this lady certainly has a problem with intimacy, but she is also comparing you to her ex and thats not a good thing either she can't seem to make her mind up how she wants you to act around her be dominating and take charge as you had done or be submissive and loving and romantic with the gifts and all the I love yous etc.... which indicates to me she is still very confused about her ex and your relationship I know you love her and she says she is in love with you I have no doubts on that but I think my advice to you both would be to sit down together and have a good heart to heart about it you need to explain to her that you are your own man and will act however you feel you need to act and that all this twoing and froing is playing with your feelings and mind and thats not fair basically she either need some space where your apart or you remain as close as you are at the moment she can't have it both ways i'm afraid life does not work like that its either one way or the other.... she will respect you for your honesty if she truly loves youi hope my advise has been able to help you please let me know how you get on okYou Take Care X
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