A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:What is she thinking? The woman I had an emotional affair with contacted me again after I told her that for my girlfriend's sake, I wouldn't be spending any time with her or emailing with her. I thought I was completely over her with her out of my life, but with one email, I find I am still "addicted" to her. I am in therapy. She's really messing with my head and the prospect of continued contact is making me want to lie to my therapist. I haven't yet. In her emails, she calls me "friend" and doesn't mention me telling her not to contact her. I act like I don't care about her one way or another. If she were my friend, why does she have no respect for my girlfriend and her problems? And the problems in my relationship?This woman said she thinks the whole thing between us was funny (we had confessed our feelings for each other at one point and handles it very badly). I snapped at her, telling her it wasn't funny at all because of the pain it caused my girlfriend. She didn't apologize. I always think we're done and then she emails me again. I say "no more" to myself and then like some trained animal, I write her back a couple of days later.I read about the point of view of "the other woman" in a sexual affair (this was never a sexual affair) and women say they want nothing to do with the men or their wives/girlfriends once the affair ends. So why won't she leave me alone? She's an attractive woman and is out dating. She even has a guy she's sleeping with regularly. Why does she need me? Why can't she exchange emails with him instead? Before she contacted me, I was trying to create the same "spark" with my girlfriend and was trading playful emails with her while she was at work, but that's now fallen flat with my "friend's" return.I have a sickness, I know. That's why I'm in therapy. I already know I'm an asshole and a jerk. The therapy is supposed to be about self-improvement. I thought it was working until she came back.Why is she doing this? Does she really want to be my friend or does she just enjoy the power she has over me?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2010): some women get off on the fact they are the "other" women, makes them feel good about themselves.
she does not care about you or your girlfriend, all she cares about is herselve and getting off on some ego trip.
How about this, instead of emailing her, delete your email account and start a new one, stop all contact with her, block her out of your life.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2010): she's definitely enjoying the power. she doesnt care that you are in pain. block her. i totally agree with caringguy on this one.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (17 February 2010):
She's enjoying the power. Block her contact and just don't open anything that comes your way. If she was a friend, she would understand. She's just enjoying her power.
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