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writes: I had a relationship with this girl,she told me one day,its over and i said "cool" even though i was hurt inside.She dated another guy but she has left her recenlty.she is now sending sms's and emails telling me she still cares.i realy still love her but how do i know if she wants me back or how do i know if it won't backfire if i go back to her. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2008): Hi,Me and my girlfriend were dating for about a month and a half. There were many reasons for me to be somewhat untrusting of her because she has cheated on me twice. But the first time it happened i had no proof but i had A witness. She said that she couldnt remember what exactly had happened that night and that she never believed it happened. But i never got a yes or no answer from her, just "i was to drunk to remember". But i ignored my gut instinct and stayed with her, i guess it was because i loved her. Then a few months later she went on a trip to mexico with her mother.I feared of somehting happenign again and made her very aware of that, she assured me that everythign woudl be ok and that she loves me, she even cried because she was leaving me for a week. But The moment she got back i knew something was up, like that she had done something with another man. I just could sense it somehow. I never said anything to her though, because i wanted to believe i could trust her. She broke it off with me the next day she got home and right then i knew somethign happened... Unfortunately after a month of being broken up we got back together for another month because im an idiot or an "idiot in love". but besides the fact eversince she first cheated on me i changed towards her, i didnt trust her fully, which had an impact on our relationship. i guess i kinda started laying boundries such as, no going to clubs with out me( i also went to one with her for the first time together and found her grinding on guys), no contact with the guy she cheated with on me (which come on! if you wanna be with me then we have to forget about him, right?), and no sleeping at partys. So is it her fault that i was the way i was? and do i deserve another chance? and does she even deserve another chance? should i still be her friend? (she wants to)
please help me quick i need advice. Thank you
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2007): she is probably just feeling bereft right now, and looks back at her time with you and feels you would fill that gap. The liklihood is that even if you got back together she would "b off" again with the next cute trick. If you decide to have another go with her, let her make all the running and keep your heart intact if you can. Time will tell, but I shouldn't hold your breath! Sorry to be a bearer of bad tidings!
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reader, DreamMaster  +, writes (29 November 2005):
 Hi,Well if you are going to play the odds I would say that it is highly unlikely you will have a good long term relationship with this girl.Her attraction towards you would have had to drop to a low level to break up the relationship. It is unlikely that she will suddenly be attracted to you again with the same passion.She is obviously lonely, having just broke up, and so is turning to you for company.You can get back if you want company yourself, but the relationship is doomed to failure in the long run.If you dont want to get hurt twice, and you want to keep your dignity (it would be pretty crushing to be dumped twice by the same girl), then refuse her advances.Best of luck
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reader, Caity +, writes (29 November 2005):
You just need to approach the situation carefully and tactfully. I have been in a situation where I have finished with someone and then realised that it was the wrong decision. I was also on the tail of of similar senario the other day! I'm in the same boat! You need to ask her why her relationship with this other guy broke down, don't jump to any conclusions, maybe it was purely because he felt he wasn't the only guy on her mind (you being the other man).. Stay her friend for the moment and guide her, be sensitive to her, she will soon realise whats she's missed out on if she hasn't already! Good Luck! x
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reader, sexseahot  +, writes (29 November 2005):
 Maybe she started to realize what she had given up on. The only way that you're going to know is by asking her. This is a tough situation, but you need to talk to her about it and she how she really feels. Don't jump right back into the relationship with her. You should probably take it slow just so you know that it won't backfire if you get back together with her.
If you want to know if she wants you back, you can just simply ask her how she feels about you. Let her know that you want to be friends. She should let you know how she feels about the situation, but don't let her know that you want her back right away. She broke your heart and you definitely don't want that to happen again.
You also don't want to be her rebound from this other guy she was dating. Just be careful and don't let what happened, happen again.
Good Luck!
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reader, May +, writes (29 November 2005):
Don't go back to her she is jusst falling back onto what she knows. She might not even be trying consiously but if she dumped you once she will do it again. Trust your gut though and what will be will be.
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