A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My wife and I were separated for 3 years, It was all my fault. We talked everyday and 3 months ago I relocated back to her home of record to try again. She isn't sexually attracted to me in the least bit. The more she denies me the more I ask, the more I feel bad because I am asking for something that she always went out of her way to make sure I was satisfied. When we do have sex it is very dismill., What should I do?? She was seeing another guy that I know she went to extrodianry measure for me not to know about. The way she did it hurt more than anything I have ever gone through. I only found out because she somehow text me this number, I callled it, he said he didnt know her, 5 minutes later he calls back and says he does know her and he has been fucking her for a year. Then he asked what was going on with her and I. I stated we'll if you are asking that question than Not what I thought. Could she still want this guy and is not having sex with me because she is still having some feelings, commitment to this guy. I know she is not seeing him, I know she doesnt use any of our phones to talk to him. She has always been very vague about anything to do with him. I havent asked the questions about their sex life as I am to afraid to know Does this mean she doesnt Love me if she is not sexually attracted to me?ex
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2010): I think your marriage is pretty much over. It's really hard for a woman to go from being totally and completely unattracted to someone, to being attracted to them again. Not unless YOU change drastically (you become a more attractive man in general)...otherwise once the attraction is gone, it's gone.
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (10 December 2010):
 Yes, she might still be seeing this guy and he might still be having intercourse with her.
In my experience, when a woman wants you, she makes it easy for you to be with her. And, she sleeps with you. Many a woman will tell you the obvious: if they love you, they will sleep with you (at least for a while) even if they don't really enjoy your lovemaking. I suppose she told you that she doesn't feel sexually attracted to you, at all. If she did, this is a very, very bad sign.
She went to extremes to hide what was going on, then she texts you the number of the other man. That could be a mistake, in which case she is seeing the other man, and you should seriously wonder whether you are really going to be back together. Or, it could be that she has trouble telling you about this other man, and this is her way to let you know about him.
The other man obviously wants to be with her and he may have suspected you were the husband. Even if he didn't suspect that, he wanted to say that the woman is HIS.
I suggest that you talk to your wife and get straight answers. Is she not seeing him, really? Does she really think you two can make it without sex? You get the picture.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2010): Well, you were separated for 3 years, and obviously she had a life during that time.
If the two of you are going to be together, then you need a counselor to help you with everything. Quite frankly, 3 years is a long time, and she had another relationship, and you don't say what you were doing all that time, or why you are now together again.
So, get help, from a professional.
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