A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Dear community,here's my problem. There's this girl, I've always liked her (as a friend of course). One day, she broke up with her boyfriend (they've been together for three years). We started texting a lot, met several times, had a great great time together, kissed and went intimate (no sex, though). We both developed some feelings for each other. She said that she's in love with me (she didn't say she loves me), and that she would really like to have a relationship with me. Yet she says that she has some kind of doubts she can't define. I've asked her about it and said that I could understand these doubts since it's tough to begin a new serious relationship after her old one ended about two months ago and that I know that it takes some time and that I'll be there for here once she is ready. Regarding her doubts, she said that I could be right.Now here's my question: What do you think about this? Does she need more time even if she says that she would like to be in a relationship with me or is a potential relationship in the future already doomed if doubts already appear now?
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female
reader, NORA B  +, writes (15 April 2013):
Thanks so much for the -follow up- it was much appreciated.Hopefully in the not too distance future you will meet a special lady and soulmate Wishing you happy future and thanks again.Kind regards Nora B.
A
female
reader, NORA B +, writes (15 April 2013):
Thanks so much for the -follow up- it was much appreciated.Hopefully in the not too distance future you will meet a special lady and soulmate Wishing you happy future and thanks again.Kind regards Nora B.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everybody for your kind answers, all of them were helpful!@NORA B: We've talked about our feelings and came to the conclusion that we're both not fully ready for a romantic relationship. On my side, thats more due to some personal reasons rather than the feelings because I'm in love with her, too. But that was BEFORE she came out and said that she wants a relationship and that she's on love with me and that she has these doubts. When we first talked about our feelings she said that I was more of a crush at the moment but she said that in the end she only told that to herself. I'm ready to give her some time but I fear that she might lose her feelings along the way or find someone else (even though she said it's unrealistic that this will happen) @Intrigued3000: Yeah, she said that those doubts have nothing to do with me as a person or that these doubts are about a relationship with me, it's simply about a serious relationship right now.@WiseOwlE: I might add that her relationship ended in a bad way. He cheated on her and treated her badly.Thanks again, everbody.
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A
female
reader, Intrigued3000  +, writes (14 April 2013):
 Yes she needs more time to heal from the last relationship. Three years is a long time to be with someone. You could very well be a rebound for her, but don't fret...many relationships evolve out of rebounds. I married a rebound;) Just enjoy what you are experiencing with her. Show her how much you love her and be patient. The doubts she has probably has nothing to do with you. It's about herself and it's coming from the recent break-up...so please don't anticipate doom and gloom for the relationship. Just enjoy it for what it is and go with the flow. If you are meant to be together it will happen.
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A
female
reader, NORA B +, writes (14 April 2013):
Yes she needs lots more time to heal after the break-up of her last relationship otherwise she will be on the rebound with you.However i would take things at a very slow pace.Im somewhat concerned on your part as well.As you stated that both of you developed SOME FEELING for each other.Are just SOME feeling enough for a loving relationship this is a question i would like you to ask yourself.Best Luck Nora B.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2013): Yes, she needs more time. She may be involved with you on the rebound; and her feelings for you could change in an instant.It takes time for the feelings to detach from a relationship. Although, some people can quickly leave one relationship and soon begin another. They may still be carrying emotional baggage that may manifest itself in the newer relationship. Unresolved issues may come into play. They may be starting a new relationship out of spite, to prove they've moved on; or to fill an emotional void. I would give her a few months to see if her feelings intensify, or just fizzle out. After only two months, she's not exactly sure how she feels about anything. She is trying to place a bandage on her broken heart. She needs time to regain strength and emotional independence. She needs to realize that she is a whole person, not half of a relationship. Many people coming out of a breakup rarely sort through this; they just want to stop the pain of loss.You're catching her at a most vulnerable time, and it really isn't fair to take advantage of her in such a state. I know how you feel; but you will appreciate this advice in the long run.
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