A
male
age
30-35,
*ildsleven
writes:Hi everyone, this might be a bit long for some...Anyways so I know this girl in college (for a couple of months) and we only recently started to hang out and do stuff together like 3, 4 weeks ago.It has never been just the 2 of us, but a group friends when we hang out, we get along well i must say. I noticed that she rarely starts a conversation with me. Infact if i stay quiet and dont talk to her she would be quiet with me as well! its quite frustrating and sometimes i feel this friendship is a bit one sided when she doesnt put the effort to talk to me too! But i do must say that i had a lovely talk with her during a lecture... we were writing messages on a4 papers and ended up filling up about 3 pages.... also she invited me for dinner to be had at her place, not alone ofcourse but with her friends.... well technically speaking it was her very good friend (who is also friends with me) who invited me to go, but she did let me know that it was both of their idea to invite me and that she could cook dinner for me too if i called up.The thing is she is totally fine with other friends, both male and females, but quiet around me? for this instance we went drinking the last night (first time night out involving alcohol) and she would be so talkative to people and quiet around me :( as in she would laugh and talk to her other friends and not talk to me as much...I really like her and i have no idea how she feels about me, well i know she likes me but more than that? i mean she could just be a very nice girl as she is no doubt a very good girl! i wouldnt exactly be a shy guy, i have no problem talking to the ladies out there who i have no feelings for but i do admit i am a bit of a quiet guy and run out of thigs to say especially with the one i like and generaaly less talkative with her than others...I was thinking about confessing sometime really soon, she is an exchange student in my college and i believe that if i dont confess, my feelings will be unnoticed and she would leave without knowing how i feel :(I must say though that i dont really want to try it unless i know i have a chance... I know guys thats not really the way i should do it! but i dont want to lose what we have, i really value the friendship we have now, and i dont want to lose it because i decided to let my feelings out !thanks for hearing me out!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2012): It is difficult to say, it is you who is in the girls company, you really need to go with your gut feeling, and observe how she is with other guys.
Is she shy with guys in general? If she can talk fine with other guys, but just quiet with you, she may like you but she could just be shy. The only way you will know is through time, have patience, keep talking to her, and observe how she is with other guys. After that you'll either feel prepared to take the risk or not.
Just one last piece of advice. Life is too short, so if you know you like this girl and you feel at all that she may like you back then let her know, we get feelings for a reason and no matter what feelings we have its never good to bottle them up. So even if it doesn't work out in your favour you need to just tell yourself that obviously you weren't even compatible as friends, and just move on.
I hope it all works out nicely for you
Good luck.x
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