A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hey guys, I'll give you guys a brief background. I'm an emotionally needy person. I have been since my ex girlfriend of two years cheated on me. I became depressed, and still am really. I feel so emasculated. Anyways, I was on tinder and I met a girl we shall call her T. Now T and I have a lot in common, literally it's like we are twins. She lives three hours from me and we decided to meet. I slept around her house and we ended up having sex. She didn't take my virginity and it wasn't just because of the sex but I was hooked. She's like the missing part. She fills a hole she's the biggest pain in the ass but she's also my favourite person in the world. We are dating. She tells me how much she cares and sometimes it shows like after sex when we are like together in bed and she like whispers I love you in my ear sort of thing. But obviously as we have an ldr we text a lot. This is the problem. She is the bluntest person in the world. And she honestly doesn't seem to care if we talk or don't talk and if she does show she cares she quick to dismiss it. I'm starting to think either she just wants me for sex or she doesn't like me as much she says.. We argue a lot because all I want is someone to care ... My question is.. Am I thinking to hard about this? She is so sarcastic on text I just think she doesn't give a shit :(
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, ShakeWutUrMamaGaveYou +, writes (8 September 2014):
Hi Y/n,
I think you need to understand that she may not be everything you want.
Maybe she really likes you, but she's not someone who likes to show her soft side quite a lot? Or maybe she's busy or worried about something.
If she was just using you for sex, why would she still be with you?
If someone just wants sex they could just go to the club or something.
I hope I made sense!
Good luck! xxx!
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (8 September 2014):
 I recommend that you count your Blessings...... There are OODLES of guys in this world who would like a woman to ".. want them just for sex....."
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (8 September 2014):
 I think she likes the IDEA of you two together more than the reality. she likes you, but I don't think she really wants a serious LDR.
3 hours distance is quite a bit, specially if you are (as you describe yourself) a needy person. Then the odd texts and not as often meetups won't cut it long term.
You also have to consider the fact that even if you FEEL this "twin-connection" you don't really know her as well as you want to know her. She might have felt the same in the beginning (not sure how long you two have been together) but the reality is now setting in. And I think it's a little bit part "out if sight - out of mind" but also that things are showing up about your personality (and hers) that you each don't really like, because it doesn't "fit" the fantasy you build her up to be, and she build YOU up to be.
My advice, if you two can't figure this out, maybe you need to consider dating someone closer to you, so you can get the "personal" attention you crave.
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A
female
reader, ScriptsandPoems +, writes (8 September 2014):
 Hello there!First off, I would like to tell you that I have used Tinder has a way of meeting people. I've only had two actual face to face encounters. The first one was AWFUL. It was a terrible experience where the guys literally only wanted me for sex. I was crushed. But he quit talking to me literally the day after. You guys continue to converse, so that's a really good sign! Coming from a woman's point of view...If I don't want to talk to a guy...I don't! Unless she's a cold hearted person that say "I love you" and doesn't mean it, I think that she genuinely cares about you. My second encounter on Tinder is actually with my now boyfriend. He is amazing. I've never been so serious with someone, and him and I are kind of going through the same thing you are as well. Him and I haven't had sex yet, but he has been rather distant. I found out its just because we both go to different colleges and he is SO stressed. So maybe this girl is just very consumed with her life right now. I honestly think you aren't the problem at all. I truly hope this helped!
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (8 September 2014):
 I feel safe in saying she is not just in it for sex, There are ulterior motives.
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