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age
41-50,
*
writes: I have been waiting a long time to have sex for the first time and I am 30. I am ready to make love to my girlfriend, but she says she is scared that she might ruin it for me.I have explained to her that I love her, and there is nothing she could do to ruin the moment for me, but she changes the subject all the time.The question is...Is it possible she just doesn't want to have sex for her own reasons?She is not a virgin. I understand that everyone is different. Sex is not an entitlement. But what should I do?Should I ease up, and stop bringing the subject up? Or should I try to find out what's going on inside her pretty head?We were swimming at the beach the other day, and she asked if I would mind if she took all her clothes off. It freaked me out and I said that I would mind.So, I am getting mixed messages. Why would she make an offer to take all her clothes off if she doesn't want sex? It's really weird.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (5 March 2011):
 It sounds to me like she could be nervous because you are still a virgin and it might be worrying her that she is not going to live up to your expectations or maybe she is scared to take your virginity because it is a big deal to you. There could be loads of reasons for her not wanting to have sex but yes you need to talk to her about it.Sit her down the next time you are both alone and say to her you want her to be honest with you and ask her why she doesnt want to have sex with you. Tell her you wont be angry or sad you just want to know the truth so that you can understand where she is coming from. Goodluck and all the best I hope it works out for you.
A
male
reader, Capri2  +, writes (5 March 2011):
In fact she doesn't want for her own personal reasons. And she's putting the charge on you, by telling she doesn't have sex for your own sake. It's a cheap excuse.You will have to find out why she doesn't want it really. You have the right to know the truth.
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