A
male
age
41-50,
*ndrewCPhillips82
writes:Hi, I broke up with a girl three months ago who I believed was the one and for some reason still do. We are still friends but it is hard to fight my previous feelings. The trouble is about a month ago I began to try and move on by not texting her unless she texted me, which was rarely, and try and forget the memories we shared. I was doing good untill last weekend. I was in my room after coming back from a friends, i decided to order a take out and watch a film. As time passed i heard a car pull up outside, not taken any notice thinking its most properly the neighbours. I heard my mums partner shout up the stairs for me, confussed i opened my bedroom door to find her standing in front of me with a smile and drunk. Before I could say "What the....", she pounced on me and we locked mouths. I couldn't hold myself and continued with it. The next morning she said that she didn't wanna get back and that she wanted to remain friends, but may see her again. She stayed untill late evening before heading home.I'm confussed and don't really know what to do. I want her back, but if she doesn't feel the same I don't wanna wait around forever for her. Does she have hidden feelings for me? How can I get over her if she keeps appearing out of the blue? How I can but this straight?Please help!
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male
reader, AndrewCPhillips82 +, writes (23 October 2011):
AndrewCPhillips82 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys :)
A
male
reader, Advice_man  +, writes (19 October 2011):
 Hmm..that's a very weird behavior. She comes on to you like this and then she says she wants to be friends?? I think she doesn't have hidden feelings for you, she is just teasing you for her entertainment. Probably when she left she had a nice laugh with her female friends for your reaction and confusion. Why would she give these mixed signals, while you are interested, if she is interested as well? Women's minds are usually messed up and operate in a very complex manner, I think it's better to hear what a female reader has to say on this, and decode her behavior. Best wishes!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2011): Poor you, your feelings are being played with. She knows you still care for her and so when she'd drunk she wants to reel you back in. It is very unfair of her to use you like this and you must not let her. Back off, even though you have lingering hopes, realise that someone who really wanted a future with you would not treat you so badly. I would cut contact in the short term so there is no confusion, and let yourself heal and put her into the past.
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (19 October 2011):
 Of course she has hidden feelings for you, but they're called hidden feelings for a reason... They tend to come out when we're vulnerable- (lonely, schmaltzy, drunk, etc) and don't necessarily over-ride all the other factors that affect us when we're not in this state.
I have to point out that you kinda contradict yourself in your post... you say that you want her back but then ask how you can get over her if she keeps appearing out of the blue... So what is it that you want exactly? If you want to get over her then I hate to say it, but being friends so soon after breaking up really isn't the best way to do this...
If you want her back... well... you won her over once, I'm sure you'll come up with something... but firstly you've gotta ask yourself-
"why did I originally break up with her?"
"has the reason I broke up with her been resolved?"
and most importantly...
"do I want her back because I'm feeling vulnerable?"
Clear your head bro, you sound as confused as she does.
Best of luck tho aye :)
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