A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Dear readers,I am thinking of sending this email to my (x)boy friend as we have a rocky relationship. Many times I've tried to end it but he has asked me to tell him the reasons as he will try and I've told him, but he never redeems himself and does the opposite and does what I tell him hurt me. It is as if he either deliberately does it or cannot help himself, but he wants me to stay as he is.I know that I should not ask him to change but I have the right to move away from a him if he cannot stop ogling women, lying to me. His family do not like me as he has master degree, I have science diploma, he never been married, I am divorced. I am brown, he is blond, they are Danish, I am originally from Middle East. They have told him to finish with me. I have told him to listen to them and not patronize me. I may not be like them but I am not less of person because I am not them. I am a beautiful, kind, loyal, passionate person. When I give I give all of me, I am very warm and loved by many people.On my sides all my friends and counselor has told me that I could do better, but I love him.Please will you give me your opinion on this letter. Is it ok to hand him this letter?Dear .......,The decision I have come to is:I've known you for almost 4 years and been in relationship for 3 years.We've been through so much together and been there for one another.I do want not us to be enemies, and I do not wish to lose your friendship.However, as for relationship: only intervention of a relationship counselor can help us.They listen to both sides and talk to us about boundaries in relationship.They can clear things about relationship and de-facto engagement.They can resolve our unresolved and ongoing issues.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2011): I do believe that seeking outside help is always a good idea when two people are not resolving things fairly on their own. You can send it, but note that I think that some men (not all) are not too thrilled to openly admit their inability to solve things on their own, so although he may agree that help is needed, he might object to avoid admitting the help is needed on the outside.
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