A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So I've been dating my boyfriend for about a year, and we just started living together.He was with his last girlfriend for over 3 years and they lived together also. I sometimes feel a little insecure that he was with someone else so long, and I sometimes worry that he might miss her... I admit I can be a little jealous sometimes, but for the most part, it's not a big deal. He doesn't like to talk about his last relationship, and I don't really know much about it, but he's assured me that he never wants to see her again.Anyway, I just have a laptop so when I need to print something out at home, I need to use my boyfriends computer. Yesterday, I wanted to print out a picture from online, so I logged on to his computer under 'guest', found the picture I wanted, then saved it so that I could edit it before printing. So when I went into the "my pictures" folder to get the picture I had just saved, there were a bunch of pictures of him and his ex. And they werent just normal pictures, they were pictures of the two of them in bed, kissing, cuddling, etc. It really upset me, but I'm not sure how I should be reacting.Should I be upset about him keeping these photos, or am I overreacting? Do I have the right to confront him or ask him to get rid of them? I mean, I know some people might want to keep photos, but those particular photos seem inappropriate for someone in a new relationship... Should I bring it up, or try and forget I saw them?
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female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (9 June 2010):
 Tell him what happened, tell him it hurts and makes you feel uncomfortable.. then ask him to burn them to DVD/CD and put it with all his old stuff (college days stuff, old photo's, etc, etc...)
Those are his memories, he probably dosen't look at them now, but one day he will be old and grey and his memory will go. That's when he'll use them photo's to look back at his life and remember what he did and why.
Yes they are pictures of his ex, but they are also pictures of him as a younger man. It's always best not to show jealousy over these things, but ask for them to be removed to a more appropriate place.
And how you feel is how you feel, you can't change that, it hurts to see him with a different person.. But feelings are one thing, actions are another. Ask him to remove them and in time both of you will forget they exist.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (9 June 2010):
I think that's a difficult one. Lots of people have photos that are nothing more than memories from a time past. There isn't enough to say that he still fancies her in any way. They're just photos on a computer. But as you say, they're not just normal photos of them sitting in a park or something. I think really, he could do to get rid of them. Ask gently though.
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